Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

I'm probably an idiot...

I know some people who say that I definitely am, but we'll keep their attitudes out of this...for now. I meant to spend the day going through A65 but instead I did grunt work on getting taxes ready and clearing out my files from the 2017 junk so I can do new ones for 2018 because the left side of my face aches -- from eye to teeth to jaw -- and that's all I could focus on. Then I worked on a possible job for Christie's, which turned out to be a lot more than initially thought...and now it's after 11 and the only thing I did was add another note to my printout of Adam's story.

BUT...it's a solid note. Part of my clearing process was putting away the other copies of the book I'd printed...and I happened upon this one comment from Vincent that I'd taken out but realized needed to be in. Not just to better explain what's been happening but to give Adam a sort of breather at a crucial moment in the story. It was also a disservice to Vincent's character, because his actions are cruel, regarding what happens, and I gave him no excuse for that. No justification. Now he has one.  It's still a shit move on his part, but more understandable.

God only knows what more I'm going to add to A65 before I finally say enough. I could easily do this for the next 5 years, I'm sure...but I also know that's a danger -- not just because it's taking so long to complete but because I could easily rewrite the believability out of it. Make it uninteresting and so complex no one cares about it. Including me.

I did that with a script of mine, once. Came up with a great idea and wrote it out but it didn't quite work so I rewrote it and changed it and added and subtracted and reworked it and refined it until now I can't stand it. The whole premise seems dumb. The characters are caricatures of people who do things to move the story along. I pulled together some great set pieces in a Hitchcock style that made absolutely no sense but sure would have looked good.

In that one, I made the mistake of thinking I could work around what was a ridiculous concept that I'd convinced myself was real and wonderful and would make a hundred million on opening weekend and blow people's minds. I think this was the first time I actually fell in love with my words, and it's been a tough lesson about that. I am beginning to mellow and may actually go back to the story to flesh it out in a more adult fashion...but it's low on my list of priorities. Place of Safety, for all the hell I'm putting myself through on it, be it deserved or not, is next on the agenda.

Once I'm done with The Alice '65.

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