Another chapter done with red pen...

 ...But I got sidetracked reading this true story about a writers' room in Hollywood, as told by Dylan Park...and it was edge of your seat kind of fun...

So Brendan and his mother now have an uneasy truce, after a nasty fight, but he still avoids home until he knows she's asleep. One evening a few months later, Danny, leads him to Grianan Aileach, the circle fort just outside Derry in the Republic. They get stoned for the first time...and nearly killed when it turns out they were sneaking pot and bourbon from a smugglers' stash. Their attitude about it? Ah...good times.

I took this photo the first time I went there...20 years ago. I was also visiting Derry for the first time, and just being in the city and wandering around the places where there had been so much carnage and death...and seeing how depressed the city still was, then...it overwhelmed me and I had to get out. So I took a bus to the right stop, walked the 200 meters up to the circle fort, and stayed there until it was too late for me to catch the last bus back.

It was while I was walking to Derry...up and down hills and past fields filled with new lambs that Brendan finally began talking to me...telling me who he was...and showed me I had one hell of a lot of work to do to make the story right. We've had an off-and-on relationship-cum-tug-of-war going, ever since.

It can happen...

Brendan has come back to take over the lead in this story, completely. I had gone through this one section four times, not understanding what it was about until he calmly smacked be on the back of my head and said, "This is it." Then came a moment where he's 12 years old and standing outside a friend's door, having been all but kicked out of the house by the boy's mother for being a bad influence on her son when...

I just nodded and turned, not even trying to smile. I was numb to her words. I leaned against the railing and pulled out my last Blue. As I lit it, I heard barking from below and saw a pack of dogs chasing after a yellow tom cat. It was trying to escape them, but they managed to surround it in a corner and were howling and snarling and lunging, and the cat was hissing and spitting and clawing at them...and I held my breath. I wanted something to throw down to stop them but had nothing, so I figured the cat was a dead one.

Danny noticed and sighed. "I've seen that one chased a few times," he said. Not a pleasant creature. Looks like he's finally been caught."

"It's not fair, is it?" I murmured. "A pack like that against one."

"It's nature's way."

"Yeah. I guess. Would that it were not so."

I watched the beasts edge closer and closer to the tom, having their fun. He still spat and hissed and scratched at them, giving no hint of surrender. I wanted to turn away, but I couldn't. i felt it would be dishonorable.

The suddenly the tom turned into a whirling mass of fur and claws, startling the dogs. I hear yelps and whines and howls of pain...and poof -- the cat was gone.

"Jesus, Bren, did you see that?" Danny whispered.

I nodded, grinning. "Never count yourself down, eh?"

"I guess not," he said, then fired his own fag off my Blue.

I didn't want to move. I wanted to stand there, in homage. Watch the dogs wander around, hurt and confused. They thought they had beaten the little beast, but it had outdone them...and nothing could have pleased me more than to have witnessed it.

I looked up and across at the Guildhall, looking solid and uncaring. A symbol of all that was wrong in Derry. A Catholic town controlled by Protestants, without a care for those who'd been here a thousand years before them.Behind it, the Foyle whispered past, giving no thought to our pettiness and obscene behaviors. Nature's way was to let the strong destroy the weak? That tom had proven it a lie. I actually smiled at the notion that no matter how badly you seem to have lost, you could still beat your tormenters. It almost made me chuckle.

But then wee Eammon's Ma burst out the door, howling, "Why are you standing there, smoking? He's got asthma, you know! Are you still trying to kill him?"

"Ma, I'm fine," came from within.

I sighed, saluted her with my cigarette, and then Danny and I headed for the elevator.

Dive! Dive!

I got through chapter 5 of APoS pretty quickly and input that, so worked on chapter 6...and found myself in deep water. Funny how that happens. I've gone through it with a red pen. Input the changes made. Printed it out...and an idea burst from it, so I adjusted it more and input those adjustments and printed that out and now need to go through it, again to make certain it's working. And make notes because it changes a bit of the previous chapters. Shit, here I am already closing in on 100,000 words but not 25% of the way through the rewrite. I do love my writing...says the idiot writer...

I'm at the point where Brendan's 12 and beginning to feel things for the opposite sex. He's seen Joanna, who becomes the perfect girl to him, and is beginning to better understand the violent relationship between his mother and father, prior to the man's death.

This is the part that scrambled me, because I may also have found a reason for there to be animosity between Brendan and his mother -- at least, what he thinks is the reason. Hence the possibility of more changes.

And...Brendan's now smoking and drinking. No huffing glue, yet, or spray paint. But that could be coming. What will probably save him from this is his vague autism and preference for solitude. He doesn't need chemicals or drugs to deal with the grinding poverty and boredom in Derry; he has his fix-it jobs that now includes cars. Plus, he and his mates...his chinas, as they call each other...are drifting in different directions, now, so he's not really part of their new crowds.

The way of the world, it seems.

Chapter Four...

Another chapter reworked and input then printed out. I managed to get it all done before I went to the dentist, for my checkup. Still got all my teeth...though some are crowns. I don't count wisdom teeth in that; those left me decades ago. But I'm a bit achy from it because when they clean, they clean...whooh...

What I'm enjoying about this rewrite is seeing how it flows from one space of time to the next. Brendan's telling it in first person, and sometimes he circles back in his life to give more context to an occurrence, but overall it's pretty simple and easy to follow. Not a huge amount happens in these first chapters, but I reference demonstrations and sit ins and events that will set the whole Civil Rights movement in unstoppable motion. Granted, a lot of how I see this is with 20/20 hindsight, which isn't always accurate, but to see it playing out in the US in almost exactly the same way, 50 years later, is sort of validating my points.

Well...Brendan's points.

Over the 50 years prior to the Troubles, Protestants had ruled Ulster with an iron fist. Good jobs went to Protestants. Decisions were made in ways that would benefit the Protestant community. New housing went to Protestants while Catholic families were often ensconced in one room of a dilapidated maisonette -- their word for a tenement. Derry was like a step-sister to Belfast, and not even given the cast-offs from the capital. It was nonstop disrespect.

But then the Catholic community grew strong enough to fight back, and Protestants -- so used to being in control -- honestly thought they could just beat them into submission. But it didn't work. Over and over they tried it, but the Civil Rights Movement kept growing and growing, forcing at least the promises of change. Things reached a breaking point with the Battle for Bogside in August 1969, which forced the British Government to send in troops to stop the exploding violence.

Which they did. Until the British decided to side with the Protestants and blame everything on their favorite boogeyman -- the IRA. Which started the real spiral into death and destruction. (photo is by William L. Rukeyser.)

It's happening here. The BLM Movement started making the white men in power nervous, so they spread lies about it and used propaganda and violence to try and quell it, and it's only grown stronger. Which gave rise to the Proud Boys and QAnon, which gave rise to Antifa which led to the January 6th attempted coup. Now the GQP is threatening to destroy the country unless we let them have their way, in Washington...like a controlling lover who's been jilted. If I can't have you, no one can.

There are already violent confrontations around the country between the right wing and the rest of us. It's only a matter of time before we devolve into civil war, again...and Democrats are doing too damned little to prevent it. We are close to matching the Troubles in death and destruction, just on a very American scale.

God, I hope I'm wrong...

Still growing...

This was a good day...

Just finished inputting chapter 3 of APoS-Derry, and so far I've added 10 pages and 2500 words...all natural enhancers. This sucker's gonna be nice sized. What's joined the rest of the story is moments between Brendan and his mates, and the growing suggestion Brendan is slightly autistic. In a world where kids have dozens of friends and such, he has only a few close ones and lots of kids he just knows. He's not gregarious...and I would say this is something I'm prone to, as well.

I'm not the type who can get to know people, easily. I can count on one hand the friends I have, real friends. I've been living off by myself for decades and actually love it. The occasions where I shared space with people were always less than comfortable, for me. When I went to stay with my mother, when she needed someone, I had to build myself a little cubby hole to stay in because she had one bedroom and my youngest brother had the other bedroom.

That situation made for some difficulty, but I knew it was only until my sister got out of the navy and could take over the care of mom, so I handled it. Little brother couldn't do that; he never got a driver's license and has issues of his own. Still does. My sister and I support him, and we will till he can get early Social Security.

But now I've been living on my own steadily for nearly 12 years, and the Covid lockdown suited me, just fine. I'm vaxxed and wear a mask when away...but I don't like going out all that much. When I had to work in an office, that was one thing, but I'd usually come straight home, after I was done. Now? I leave when I need groceries or have a doctor's appointment. In fact, tomorrow is the dentist. Big sigh.

So my tendency towards isolation is playing neatly into Brendan's life...or vise-versa. I'm not above thinking he's influencing me. He was already somewhat solitary in the earlier drafts; now it's just clarifying itself in my head...and it's making a lot of what happens with him understandable. I'm rather liking this.

Another chapter input...

As a way of keeping from going back over and over and over my rewrite as I go along, I'm working on one chapter at a time then inputting those changes and printing it out. This way, I can use sticky-notes to add details I think of as I go along and worry about incorporating them in the next draft. So far, it seems to be working.

It was a fight to get myself to sit down and input these changes, though...because, as usual, I changed my changes as I went along. And will continue to do so. It's just draining to know I'm still not really close to the end of this book, yet.

This image captures the real feel of how things were in the middle of the Troubles. Kids staring down armed soldiers in the cold, neither one happy the Army is there, as adults stand around, numb. Had the British actually maintained their initial even-handedness instead of taking on the mantle of the Unionists and their hatred of Catholics, there might never have been the massive death and destruction.

But that's 20/20 hindsight. For all we know, the Unionists would have slaughtered more in their effort to maintain their power and force the British to keep them in the Empire. Rather an abusive attitude -- I'm yours, even if you don't want me, and I'll hurt you if you try anything that might hurt me, no matter how small.

I found an interesting article in Al Jazeera dealing with London trying to push through a blanket amnesty for all soldiers accused of murders and deaths in Northern Ireland, which would kill current investigations and disallow any civil actions. There's condemnation from around the world, against that, including from Amnesty International and The World Court, but London apparently doesn't care. They're using the claim that it all happened so long ago and it's been investigated, so let's move along...and never mind those investigations were shams and whitewashes that absolved our side from any wrongdoing.

The British government apparently has yet to learn a single solitary lesson from its past stupidities. Like Brexit messing with not only the British economy but also threatening to destroy the Good Friday Accord that stopped the Troubles. They're going to plunge the region back into chaos just to keep from admitting they made a mistake.

You have to wonder at the obtuseness and venality needed to be a right wing politician, these days, and the lack of balls and blindness to be a left-wing one.

Turning into a major rewrite, again...

Sometimes I wonder if I really do know how to write, because on every story I've done, my final draft is usually very, very different from my first one. The story is the same...basically...but events and characters have rearranged themselves massively, and I wonder why the hell they didn't come out in that order to begin with.

For APoS, in chapter 3 of Derry I've rearranged the order in which Brendan discusses his best mates. For some reason I'd started with his Protestant friends in The Fountain (a small Protestant enclave along the south side of the walls; Brendan's initial home is along the western edge) instead of his Catholic friends. It doesn't make sense, that way. His Catholic friends -- Colm, Danny, Paidraig and Eammon -- figure far more importantly in Brendan's life than Gerry and Billy. Especially starting in 1969.

So I spent today rearranging them. There have been three drafts before this and I'm just now catching on to this? It makes me feel even more out of it and wrong-headed as a writer.

I found this lovely image on a facebook site called Derry of the Past. The poster thinks it's from around 1972 or 1973, but that doesn't feel right to me. Some in the comments think it's from 1955 or 1958, which would look about right.

This is the tail of Waterloo Street, right by Butchers Gate, and it seems like behind them is the beginning of construction to route Fahan to connect with Waterloo, which happened in the early 60s, if I have my timing right.

Farther back is Walker's Pillar, which was destroyed by an IRA bomb in 1974...or was it '73? Whichever, by that point Nailors Row, which sat facing the walls from the pillar to the last bastion, had been demolished to make way for a grassy knoll leading up to the walls.

I think the mist just hides them, which is why the poster probably thought this was taken after they'd been torn down. It adds a lovely aura of mystery to the image...something I play with, later, when Brendan is wandering around a city that has massive open spaces left behind after blocks and blocks of houses were demolished and others boarded up waiting for the wrecking ball.

Spangled brain...

This was one of those days where I didn't get much done. I started in on Chapter 3 of APoS but things kept interrupting, and then I had an appointment with a doctor, and then I needed to hit the supermarket, and then dinner (I had a salad) and then I got home and could barely focus on putting away groceries.  I've just been all over the place, mind-wise.

I'm having a problem with my skin that may indicate it's pre-cancerous. The dermatologist I saw froze a couple of spots and wants to see me in 3 months just to be safe regarding a couple of others. I've always thought skin cancer was a possibility for me, because I had 2nd degree sunburn a couple of times, when we lived in Hawaii. So it's not so much a shock as irritating. Something else in my life that's up in the air, to be decided later.

I've also got a job set up to do in Eugene, Oregon, in a month. Had to get air fares, hotel and car settled because everything's so sketchy now. The positive thing is, I'm using up some of a credit I had with American. I had intended to go to a gay book convention in Southhampton, England, last year, but Covid killed that. I have the credit good till May of next year, fortunately, and only used half of it, but it's almost like found money.

I also learned a potential hand-carry from NYC to Las Vegas is off. It was a book bought at auction but they're going to ship it, instead, which is cheap-assed. I mean, I don't blame them for it; I'd have cost $2500 and they can get the book crated and transported for under $2000. But it's valued at nearly $300K and I was sort of hoping to take a hundred bucks and play the $1 machines to see if I could win anything. It's the only way I'll ever get out of debt.

I did still manage to do a bit of research on Derry for APoS -- mainly her streets. I have a 1946 map guide that's not 100% accurate but does well enough. Comparing it to the recent map I bought, the last time I was there, it's interesting how many streets were wiped away with redevelopment in the 60s and 70s.  I have this photo of what I think is Fox's Corner, almost like it's being viewed from Brendan's bedroom window on Nailors Row...I just wanted to verify it. Can't find it on the old map. I have photo books and another street-by-street guide to look through so it's not impossible to deal with; just more work than I wanted, right now.

God, I've got so many books and papers on this town and her history...

Forward movement is good, even if slow...

I've gone through another chapter of APoS, making notes and adding to consistency for the characters and story. Little things that will matter, later. Brendan is telling the story in first person, so I can't do too much in the way of revelation except when he's there and aware. But that works fine, for me.

By keeping this as completely Brendan's POV as possible, throwing in info as if it's something he knows or learned, it helps me get past the worry that I'm not handling Derry people properly. He's got a bit of an attitude and I think he's hinting at being functionally autistic. Not sure where that came from, nor would he know the term. Back in the 60s, autistic people were just considered shy or special or mentally deficient. And his mother does refer to him as simple, though she means dumb. Be interesting to see where this goes.

I have found a way for him to learn more about her, aside from the second-hand snippets he catches when the neighborhood ladies are talking about her and don't notice he's around to hear them. I'd already established his mother and aunt, in Houston, wrote each other, regularly. Aunt Mari even sends a little money with each letter, something Ma was keeping secret till his older sister, Mairead, pried into a letter and found a couple of 20GBP notes. Now, at the end of the Houston section, he's going to read some of her letters to Aunt Mari. Maybe at the beginning of Return. Not sure, yet.

American Express used to offer the ability to get foreign money, at some of their offices. I did that the first time I flew to Europe, form Houston. There was an office on the 3rd floor of the Galleria down a hallway where you could get Travelers Checks and some foreign cash at a better exchange rate. Especially if you had an Amex card. I also used their office on the Champs Elysees when I needed to get some cash. Banks were too much of a pain. God, that was 35 years ago...

Now you can just go to any ATM and withdraw cash. I've done that traveling to Hong Kong, the UK, Ireland, Canada, Portugal and Germany. Just go to an official bank one, not one of the free-standing bandits; those charge a massive fee while the banks are less criminal.

God...I miss traveling around the world...

Overwhelmed...

I spent today rewriting the opening chapter of APoS - Derry. First in red pen then inputting the changes to my laptop...then printing it out to do, again. It's amazing how tiring that can be. I'm trying to convince myself to move on and, as I go along and determine more changes that need to be done, add them as notes till I get into the next draft. That's very hard for me; I'm the sort of writer who rewrites his opening pages over and over and over as he slowly adds the rest of the story to them. It takes a long time, but I think it works better, overall.

I am going to treat this like 3 separate books, because this little beast is massive. I went through each file and came up with the following numbers:

• Book 1 -- Derry -- 418 pages and 95,559 words
• Book 2 -- New World for Old -- 480 pages and 106,910 words
• Book 3 -- Derry '81 -- 324 pages and 73,810 words

That's over 1200 double-spaced pages (in 12 point Courier) and more than 276,000 words. I am, quite honestly, overwhelmed at how much I've done on this, and still have more to add. Not huge amounts, but I'm still light on Bloody Sunday's massacre and some things need to be added so they can be referenced later, to give emotional content to episodes and actions.

So first comes Derry. Working it and reworking it and reworking my rewrite after I rewrite my rewrite, and hope I do right by it. This one scares me more than the other two, because it deals a lot more with the place and the people, and how they interact with each other. This image is of The Diamond, in the middle of the walls, and was the main shopping area. It's from the early-to-middle sixties.

I may start sounding out mainstream publishers and agents to see if that might be the better way to go. See if they might have an editor to work with me on this, like Hemingway had. Of course, that was Maxwell Perkins who knew a shitload about honing a story till it's just right. But at this moment, I'd be happy with anybody who could read it and point out places that are superfluous. Even after months of not touching it, I'm still too close to the story to be objective enough for that.

The curse of a writer...

Reading day...

I'm currently reading a book called Northern Ireland Stereotypes by E.E.O'Donnell...and turns out it was his Doctoral Thesis. What he offered to his committee to establish himself as a PhD. So far it's pretty dry, and the introduction is never-ending, but it may help me get into the heads of the people in Derry more.

I'm also going to reread Bernadette Devlin's The Price of My Soul and Russell Stetler's The Battle of Bogside, but these are more for logistics and historical details. Devlin's book seems a bit dialed back but it's interesting what she has to say about the August 14th fight. Stetler's is like reading a news report, very immediate.

I found some notes I took from the first time I read Strong About It All, dealing with a number of Derry women being arrested, so I'm not as upset as I was over losing the book. It's out of print and I cannot find a copy that isn't hundreds of dollars. Ridiculous. If I can ever make it back to Derry, I'll check with the library to see if they have a copy and make photocopies. They were very helpful when I was seeking out maps of the city in the mid-60s.

I also did that after a fashion in Belfast. I was at the Linen Hall Library across from the city hall, and they had books that were filled with information...but you can't check them out and no copier. So...I used my phone to snap some photos of what I needed. Not exactly kosher, but I'm not reusing any of it; just wanted the info to be accessible without me making expansive notes in my illegible handwriting.

I've also got the CAIN site that I can dig through, as well as shelves worth of other books and papers, so I'm not exactly wanting for info. It's just working this so the people in the story read like Derry people. That's going to be the hard part. Damned hard.

Another day off...

 I'm going through one of those moments where I can't get the fire started to dig back into book 1 of APoS. Instead, I'm reading and doing mundane work and being lazy as hell. I didn't even get dressed until I HAD to go to the post office. Which isn't bad because it's across the street from me, but you need to wear pants and a shirt, for some damn reason. They get all picky about it.

I did get a proof copy of my coloring book, Demented Dreams (of guys in trouble) and it turned out nice. It's not as polished as the other coloring books I've seen,  but it works. I'm contacting a couple of places to see if they'll carry it; offer it as a Christmas gift for the wicked lad or lass in us all.

It's already available for pre-order through Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Books A million (AKA: BAM!). I hope I sell a few; unemployment benefits have run out and I'm not going to have the same income I did prior to Covid. Not by a long shot. Just piecemeal jobs to supplement my SSI. I've got savings enough to go 2 years, then I'm broke. Be nice if one of my books would sell a million copies.

The Alice '65, I'm lookin' at you.

Day off still means writing things down,...

I took the day off from writing and read and watched 2 new episodes of Vera. Did a bit of planning for a possible trip. Recharged my batteries. I'll get back to APoS, tomorrow...but I still had notes to fill in, here and there. Aspects of the story I'd missed while writing the last draft. Deepening the emotional context. Things that popped into my head while I wasn't thinking about the story.

My subscription to Britbox doesn't run out till October 5th so I may get another episode or two in. I like the show, though not as much as I did when David Leon was Brenda Blethyn's sidekick. Kenny Doughty is okay, just not as charismatic. I don't know why David left, but they changed the way the titles were shown after he was gone. That says a lot, to me...says it was not an amicable parting.

I've slashed back on a lot of my spending. The job I had before Covid is pretty much gone; just occasional junkets to pack libraries, now and then, nothing in the office. My sole income now is Social Security, which is not enough to handle my budget. I have savings to cover me for the next 2 or so years, but then it's not going to be pretty...unless I sell a book to be made into a movie and can pay off all my debts.

That's also when my youngest brother becomes eligible for Social Security -- the age of 62. I've been supporting him, as well as everything else, and having unemployment and the supplement have kept me able to keep doing this. Prior to it, if Covid had not come along I'd have paid everything I owed off, by now. Instead, I went into maintaining mode...and my debt's slowly increased. Ah, America, land of the fuck you, I've got mine.

But...the space did let me work up some new stuff. My coloring book will come out on Tuesday, next. I got A Place of Safety pretty much worked out, plotting-wise. And Dair's Window is rebuilding itself in my head. I also have a half-dozen other books to write once I'm done with these...so I'm not unhappy. Just wish I was in a better place.

Don't we all?

Done reading...

 Well...I've gone through the nearly 1000 double-spaced pages of A Place of Safety and now have everything in my head as to what is needed, where. Lots of sticky-notes. Red pen corrections and comments. The usual crap. All three binders are on my table and I'm amazed at how much I've finally been able to do.

Book 3 -- Return to Derry -- is the one in the most need of work, then Houston, then Derry in Book 1. But that's how I work. I rewrite the beginning of my stories over and over and over while the ends tend to get short-shrift. Not this time. Every part of this book has to ring true for it to work, so I'll be redoing Book 3 over a lot.

What's got me going closer on the story, a bit, is how the current political situation in the US so closely parallels Northern Ireland's. A group of radical politicians are trying to maintain power through lies, tricks, questionable legal maneuvers, threats, favoritism and intimidation...and I do NOT mean the Democrats. I haven't voted for a Republican in the US since 1980, and that one was John Anderson, who was running against Reagan for the GOP nomination. When it was handed to Ronnie Ray-gun, he left the party and so did I. I could see the writing on the wall, and damned if it hasn't come true, in spades...

Sometimes I wonder if that's part of the reason this story got going. I've been working on it for decades. A lot of time was wasted with me telling myself I couldn't do it because it's set in a part of the world I may have visited but never lived in and, honestly, I don't think I'll ever make it sound right for someone from Derry. I've even had people tell me it's not possible, but still I kept coming back to it. So I've finally accepted that I'm to be the author of this tale and am just telling it as best I can.

I have no idea why Brendan stuck with me through all the years of worry and fear and ridiculousness, but he did...and it's slowly moving towards being completed. I won't have it done this year, I know that, but next year...yes. 2022.

That will be a cause for celebration!

Book 3 of APoS is...okay...so far

I truly did skim through writing book 3 of A Place of Safety, which is still obvious even after 3 drafts. Parts are repetitive and Brendan repeats himself so many times, I got sick of it. I can imagine how a reader would feel. I mean, each time it makes sense, but still... Needs a LOT of work to smooth it out.

That said, I'm about halfway through it and the structure is good. I see spaces where I need to dig a lot deeper, but no need to rework the spine, so far. What helps is this takes place in a shorter period of time than books 1 and 2 -- just a few months during the hunger strikes of 1981 -- and the story's drive is more immediate. And it helps that he's been out of the loop so doesn't need to know everything that's going on.

Something I did miss out on is making sure Brendan is being honest about his feelings instead of putting them aside to keep the story moving. That is NOT acceptable. He's faced with a life-altering betrayal and I have him seemingly little more than miffed about it. That needs to be addressed, for sure. Same for his brothers, in this part of the story; Rhuari is okay enough, but Kieran needs to be better integrated since he figures in a lot near the end.

But this is just a read through to remind myself of what I have. I find myself making notes to add something, then a paragraph later realize I addressed it, already. This book has grown so complicated, for me, I can't keep all of it straight in my head.

But I am closer to thinking I've been doing it up right.

Book 2 of APoS is read

 I've finished re-reading the Houston section of A Place of Safety and can see it will need a great deal of work. It skates along on the surface far too much, and I have notes throughout to expand on this or add to that. I'm even thinking of another chapter to give the relationship between Brendan and a young woman he becomes involved with in Houston a chance to really flourish.

He's in the city just as it's really gearing up to become the city it is, today. 1972-1981, just over 8 years -- though for the first 6 months of his time there he's damaged and nearly catatonic. A lot of this is him coming to terms with what Derry had become and realizing that, even though Houston is more on an even-keel...a lot of the same hatreds and anger exist in the city.

Still, the structure is solid. Not as exact as Derry is, but still no need to rework anything. The characters are in place and well-established in themselves. The vague parallels to actions in Derry are there to be expanded upon and alluded to. Brendan's voice changes a bit as he becomes more and more Americanized, though that I'm not sure about, now. I may keep him the same, all the way through.

I was able to do this despite having a nagging little headache, all day. One of those irritating things that doesn't pound but won't let you ignore it, either. I get those, every now and then, usually after a tough day but not always. I may have arthritis in my neck and that's causing it.

Getting old is not for sissies.

Real life is a pain...

 I hate it when aspects of my day-to-day life intrude on my writing or working...but sometimes you have no choice but to shift focus to the mundane. For example, the apartment below mine became infested with bedbugs, some of which migrated up to my place. I've never had bedbugs so didn't know what I was seeing when I saw one, so didn't kill it. Not smart.

They got into my box spring and I was getting bit, then I learned...and this was a couple weeks after the issue in the apartment below was known...about them and cleaned my place nearly from top to bottom. Problem is, most of my flooring is carpet and I think they got into it.

I've now had three treatments by an exterminator, but I still got bit by one, yesterday. So I've washed and dried all my clothing and such, covered both my mattress and box spring with bedbug-proof slip cases, and just finished scrubbing the carpet around my work table with a power-vac cleaner. I'm lying in bed with my laptop and a printout of APoS, waiting for the carpet to dry.

Good thing about this is, making my work space ready for the cleaner showed me how much crap I've got that I can just get rid of. Tons of shit that means nothing or is unusable, or that I haven't even looked at in years. Soon to go by the wayside.

I'm currently working on the Houston section of the story, and while I like the flow of it, it's still on the superficial side. The point of this part of the book is to show how, even though Brendan's escaped the horror of the Troubles in Derry and thinks the city is a beacon of peace and safety, it's just the same in too many ways. Just a bit quieter, is all.

I feel like it takes a bit too long to get to the point where events begin to parallel what happened to Brendan in Derry...to an extent. I don't want exact replications, just general or similar in quiet ways. I'm trying to make a point but not be loud and harsh about it. I've read books like that and they drive me nuts.

Well...more nuts that I already am.

Structurally sound...

Today was spent solidifying the basic structure I have set up for Derry, and it works nicely. It should accept any changes I make to deepen and expand upon the actions being taken in the story. There is a quiet flow to it that gives it a quiet surface...but like the Mississippi, the undertow is fierce.

It's not going to be easy to work in the details I need and keep them seeming normal and natural. I want this to read as a memoir, not an historical tract. No jamming of info, just Brendan's observations and thoughts at what he's witnessing. He misses a couple of big events because of various reasons and knows of them, second and third hand. Of course, he's in the middle of the Battle for Bogside and Bloody Sunday, but those are massive wide-ranging occurrences that no one could avoid becoming involved in.

What's helping work out the logistics of it all is the CAIN website and its gallery of photos from 1968-1974. This one is by Eamon Melaugh, and its description is -- Two children sitting on the 'Roaring Meg' cannon. The cannon is located at the 'Double Bastion' on the City Walls overlooking the Bogside area of Derry. During the Siege of Derry 1688-1689 the cannon was said to have made the loudest noise of any gun, hence the name. The street in the background, Nailors Row, was demolished as part of redevelopment in the city.

He has hundreds on the site, and I have a couple of Willie Carson's books of photos of the time, not to mention several put out by Guildhall Press. What's driving me nuts, right now, is I used to have a large paperback of women's stories about being arrested by the British Army, during Internment, called something like Strong About it All...and I can't find it. I'll have to dig through all my books, now, to see if I mis-shelved it...but I may have the title wrong because I can't get it to come up on ABEbooks, at all.

As a last resort, there's always Walled City Books, in Derry.

Turning into quite the beast...

 I have 23 chapters written for Derry in APoS. 318 pages and 74,000+ words, and I get the sense it will wind up close to 450 pages and well over 100K in wordage. I can see so much that needs to be in there, still, and parts of it read too superficially. Smooth and easy, without a sense of the location or the people. Meaning probably adding another chapter, as well, and working at least one additional rewrite.

But there are sections I'm very proud of, especially the last chapter, as Brendan's preparing to leave Derry, and his walk to Claudy. The sloppiest parts are in the beginning chapters, right now, and the one dealing with the Bloody Sunday massacre. That one's going to be hard to write, but it's very, very important because it happens just a few days before Brendan's 16th birthday. It breaks through his reserve and builds his anger, but he remains clear-eyed enough to see the IRA has become just as oppressive as the RUC could be. Sometimes more-so.

This image is of Derry in the early 60s, just as the city was beginning construction of the Rossville Flats, which will figure greatly in the Battle of Bogside. They'll wind up just to the left of the triangle made by two roads meeting, in the middle left side of the image. Brendan's home is in that line of houses just to the right of those roads, atop the hill.

I sort of lose track of a couple of his friends in the middle chapters, so that will need to be addressed, as well, since they haunt him in the Houston section and later. And one bit happens too easily; I need to work that so it's more realistic.

I still feel like I don't have the sense of the people of Derry, yet. I've watched Derry Girls, which is set in 1994 and 1995, more than two decades after the majority of the story, and it's geared to be a comedy...but I did catch glimpses of their hard-edged humor in it. That is going to be a bitch and a half to make work.

My job is cut out for me...dammit...

Re-reading to remember...

 I've begun re-reading the Derry portion of APoS and had forgotten some things I put into it. There was also some repetition and actions that didn't quite make sense, but I'm only making notes, right now. Re-familiarizing myself with the story so I can be sure to work it out in the proper timeline. I know there is a lot more to add and re-arrange.

I'm up to 1969, when the People's Democracy march takes place. It was a group of college students walking from Belfast to Derry to highlight the need for political and societal reform. Brendan's brother, Eamonn, joins them and Brendan is sure something will go wrong. Which it does...did...brutally.

In truth, this is when The Troubles really began, not the Battle of Bogside, 8 months later. The Protestant response to a group of peaceful marchers showed the world how vicious things have become in Northern Ireland, and those in power refused to learn from their mistakes. Instead, they continued to repeat them. Over and over, until London had to send in troops to quell the growing chaos. Which, eventually, made things worse. But that is normally London's way.

Unfortunately, that's how people in power work. Still work. Take the stupid, blundering, arrogant path, every time. The Republican Party, here, has shown they will do anything to gain and maintain power, no matter how illegal or evil it might be, and can't see they've already lost. They honestly think acting like third-rate fascist thugs will get them what they want when all that does is anger people...and that anger leads to violence...as it did in Northern Ireland.

If Stormount (the NI center of government) had actually followed through with some reforms, none of this would have happened. All Catholics wanted was decent homes and good jobs to feed their families. Protestants could have quelled support for the more radical demands if they'd just made sure those two things were made right.

But the Protestants, goaded by Ian Paisley, who was in thrall to the devil, howled at even those minimal changes in the power structure and what happened? Thirty years of murder, destruction and an explosion of the criminal elements on both sides of the divide...and they still wound up giving Catholics pretty much what they had wanted, at the beginning. It was so damned stupid on all parts.

When men become mad dogs, there is nothing you can do but isolate them till they die off...and that's pretty much how it worked.

Something different...

 Today, I finished preparing an adult coloring book and uploaded it to Ingram Spark for printing. If they accept it, the book will be offered through Ingram Content Group for order, and possibly through Barnes & Noble and Amazon. I won't know for sure till they add it to their sites. It's 25 sketches I worked up, cleaned up and arranged in a little series of erotic fantasies, and I like how they turned out. Not as clean and simple as most coloring books, but could be lots of fun. My hope is to have it out and ready for order by the end of September.

It's gay oriented, of course, but I've long known there are a lot of women who like gay literature and images. Many even write gay romance...whoa, use the current term, Kyle -- MM Romance and Erotica. Some of it quite deep into kink. Reading them, I've found that what I think is extreme in my books is fairly tame. The closest I get to water sports, for example, is near the end of Hunter, when the MC is being deliberately humiliated by it. I guess I led a very sheltered life.

I did the coloring book to clear my head after Dair's Window blew up on me. Art has always been my refuge. I was never good enough to be considered a fine artist, but it did well enough for me. I even made money doing storyboards for films. But focusing on these sketches, and the tedious job of cleaning up the dirt in the image after they've been scanned, blanked out my confusion and anger at what happened with DW and let me see clear, again.

I'm still setting that book aside and finishing at least the first two parts of A Place of Safety -- Derry and Houston -- before I return to it. I got to thinking about them and they really are two halves to a whole. I can do the third part -- Return to Derry -- after they are set. My goal now is to have a readable draft ready for these two by the end of the year. No guarantees, but it's something to keep me moving forward.

Baby steps...

Understanding is slow...

As I dig into the books I bought to help me center APoS in Derry, between 1966 and 1972 in the first book, I'm finding how some of them provide minimal information...but even that can be useful. I have a copy of The Brow, the Brothers, and the Bogside by John Ledwidge that is, ostensibly, about an important Catholic boys school in Derry, but it only has a bit more than 5 pages of text devoted to the troubles, covering October 1968 to 1971 in the most superficial of ways. BUT...there is discussion in this section about the appalling living conditions in the Bogside area of Derry (where Brendan lives) and a photo of a woman at a hearth with an iron crane used to hold a pot for cooking over an open turf fire. I need to find out if turf is the same as peat, but that alone made the book worthy of having.

I'm also reading Last Orders, Please! by Macgufin...and it's bizarre. Caricatures of people in more the Belfast area but also Derry and the surrounding countryside, following a functional eejit of a drunk named Brian Arthur, who hasn't a bone of sense in his body. At least, I was thinking they were exaggerations, but in reading Kidnapped by A J Davidson, I wonder. This book deals with real kidnappings between 1971 and into the 1990s...and the way some of these things are, first, planned and plotted and, second, how the Garda and the RUC go about investigating and trying to catch the kidnappers makes me think the Irish really are dumb as bricks.

Of course, a lot of the problem was poor communication and lack of proper training on the cops' side, sometimes with fatal consequences. Another part was bad luck. But overriding all of this is the clan aspect of it all. "I can work with this man's brother because his Da once worked with my grandfather..." and all that shit. On both the Protestant and Catholic side. It's mind-boggling...and I already had a fair idea of how nonsensical things could be in that part of the world.

I'd make this a satire were it not for the nonstop death and destruction that occurred...and yes, I know Irish playwrights work that sort of thing all the time...witness The Hostage by Brendan Behan and the absurdity of what happens to the British soldier taken prisoner by the IRA in Neil Jordan's The Crying Game. I'm not sure enough of my ability in writing humor to pull that off, and I don't want to do the story a disservice.

If my Brendan wants it to happen, it will. He's already leading me down new paths... 

It's been nearly two years since last writing in this blog and more than eight months since I stopped working on A Place of Safety and focused on Dair's Window...but then DW blew up on me and I had to stop that and take some time to think things through. In the meantime, I sketched up an adult gay coloring book with some rather dangerous bits in it, and that seems to have helped. I'm back to reading my books about N. Ireland and have decided to treat each section of the novel as its own book.

Brendan's family lives on Nailors Row for part of this section.

Derry will be first, of course, and is the hardest to write because I'm still uncertain about the sociology of the town and her people. Their humor is dark and a bit defensive, which I'm not sure I can replicate...but I won't know until I actually get into it and do it. I also have an idea as to why Brendan's mother is so disparaging of him, but need to see if this is something that can be put forth in a realistic fashion.

So once the coloring book is up and running, which should be by the end of September, I'm digging into Derry and rewriting it until I no longer can. Houston is 75% written; I just need to add a few things to it and polish it up...and Return is about 80% completed...maybe 85%. It was always going to be the easiest part to write because it takes place during just a few months, during the hunger strike of 1981. It's also the harshest, so far, because it includes a long torture section at Castlereagh Station, in Belfast.

I don't know if I'll be posting daily...but these blog comments do seem to help clear my head and focus me.