I'm trying like crazy to make Find Ray T funnier and deeper and more like a real movie than a scripted show...but I have no idea if I'm achieving anything like I want. I chuckle and laugh, but I get the jokes. Question is, will anyone else?
For example -- I've got a running joke through this script about people thinking Damon, the lead, used to be on drugs...and no one believes him when he says he never was. Now due to his crazy actions trying to find Ray Tarkovsky, they think he's fallen off the wagon. There's even a story in a gossip rag with photos of him acting crazy under a splashy headline of Is Damon Payne Back On Drugs? The final bit is during the big ending, when he's desperately free-running his way up a bunch of homes perched in the Hollywood Hills to get to one house at the very top of the road. En route, he passes an elderly couple on their balcony, tossing them a smile and greeting. All very energetic. The old man wonders if he's back on drugs. The old lady says, "Maybe he'll give you some; you could use it." And the old man looks at her, shocked.
I'm also emphasizing Damon is rootless, thanks to being a military brat. He was moved about every couple years. Never had friends or girl friends for very long; if he didn't leave, they did. And he's in the habit of that, still. He drifted away from his ex-wife, Tara, because he was getting too close her and was afraid of what would happen if she left him. Now he's starting to see how wrong he was to push her away.
I'm also getting rid of some of the cute stuff I had in the script -- things that really didn't help move things along. I like them...but it's better without them. The script's going to be close to 120 pages so I have to be careful about anything that's not absolutely vital to the story.
For about ten minutes, today, I considered sending the script for A65 in to a romantic comedy competition fronted by Stage 32 and a woman who'd produced some of Nancy Meyers' films. I'd have had to do a quick rewrite and polish and wasn't crazy about it...but then I read the Terms and conditions and I all but screamed, NO! NO! NO! They would own all rights in perpetuity for not that much money up front and 2% of the net profits...of which there never are any.
Fortunately, Adam was screaming NO right along with me, because I'd have hated to fight him on this...but what they want is ridiculous.
For example -- I've got a running joke through this script about people thinking Damon, the lead, used to be on drugs...and no one believes him when he says he never was. Now due to his crazy actions trying to find Ray Tarkovsky, they think he's fallen off the wagon. There's even a story in a gossip rag with photos of him acting crazy under a splashy headline of Is Damon Payne Back On Drugs? The final bit is during the big ending, when he's desperately free-running his way up a bunch of homes perched in the Hollywood Hills to get to one house at the very top of the road. En route, he passes an elderly couple on their balcony, tossing them a smile and greeting. All very energetic. The old man wonders if he's back on drugs. The old lady says, "Maybe he'll give you some; you could use it." And the old man looks at her, shocked.
I'm also emphasizing Damon is rootless, thanks to being a military brat. He was moved about every couple years. Never had friends or girl friends for very long; if he didn't leave, they did. And he's in the habit of that, still. He drifted away from his ex-wife, Tara, because he was getting too close her and was afraid of what would happen if she left him. Now he's starting to see how wrong he was to push her away.
I'm also getting rid of some of the cute stuff I had in the script -- things that really didn't help move things along. I like them...but it's better without them. The script's going to be close to 120 pages so I have to be careful about anything that's not absolutely vital to the story.
For about ten minutes, today, I considered sending the script for A65 in to a romantic comedy competition fronted by Stage 32 and a woman who'd produced some of Nancy Meyers' films. I'd have had to do a quick rewrite and polish and wasn't crazy about it...but then I read the Terms and conditions and I all but screamed, NO! NO! NO! They would own all rights in perpetuity for not that much money up front and 2% of the net profits...of which there never are any.
Fortunately, Adam was screaming NO right along with me, because I'd have hated to fight him on this...but what they want is ridiculous.
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