Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Is my ending right?

I've been going back and forth about my ending to UG. It's sort of a Happily Ever After which I think is earned...but I'm torn about whether or not it goes too far. But I just went through it, again, and I couldn't change it...even though I think it should be. Or...maybe I'm just afraid and that's why I think it should be.

This is usually the point where I don't know what I'm doing, or why. I'm going by gut instinct when my head is trying to override that. I don't know which is right...but I usually stick with my gut. And in this instance...well, my head is telling me it's the wrong choice.

At the end, Reg is kidnapped and is about to be made into the next rape victim but Devlin saves his life and is seen as a hero for it, because he's almost killed, as well. So after all the hoopla and uproar has begun to die down, Reg shows up to his hotel room and lets Dev have him...somewhat. In short, Devlin has recruited a married straight man into...well, at least a bit of bisexuality. And the suggestion is this won't be the last time they're together.

Tawfi shows up and indicates he'd be open to a threesome, making Devlin and Reg his little harem. Kind of a goofy off-the-wall way of ending a pretty intense story, so I was thinking -- maybe I should have Reg's part just be just a dream. But then I wondered if that was playing it right with the characters. If I'm not just simply concerned about the message I'm sending?

Truth is, I think any man is capable of having sex with another man no matter how straight he is, so long as the circumstances are right. Prison's long been proof of that. Straight men go in, rape or get raped or just have sex with other men because they need the connection or protection, then come out and go home to their wives or girlfriends and don't even think about making it with a guy on the outside. Gay for pay is the same thing; it's a way to make money.

So maybe I am over-thinking this. Maybe I'm just scared of how it'll be seen, and my fear is threatening to hurt the story. That's why my gut takes over and tells my brain to shut the fuck up. Which I appreciate, as a writer. We can think something to death without batting an eye.

I've ruined stories and characters by doing that...and I don't want to do it with this one...

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