Am I just tedious?

I got into a bit of a back and forth over someone telling me that the reason I tend to procrastinate is that I'm reacting to some suppressed trauma. And that if I knew what the trauma was, I'd get past it and stop being so whiny and tedious. Sent me this to back it up.

From a trauma perspective, procrastination may occur when certain parts of a traumatic memory that has not been processed fully are unconsciously triggered. An individual may not be able to understand why they put things off, or have a strong emotional response to being asked to do something.

Well, yes, I have been traumatized, but I remember it, fully. So that ain't the deal. I finally got the feeling they were trying to find out what it was, and I have no interest in sharing it with anyone. Hell, there's some members of my family don't even know about it. Actually, most members, now. 

I will say, it is one of the reasons I have serious problems maintaining any sense of self-confidence or certainty in my abilities. But I've been in therapy, years worth, and that didn't help one damn bit. What actually did finally do me some good was writing How to Rape a Straight Guy. It took some of that psychological bullshit off my shoulders and let me see a new path.

People call the book porn, but they haven't read it. They only think that because of the title and that it has gay sex in it, mostly non-con. (And that person also dissed it as just a sex book. Again, without reading it.) It's not an easy book, I grant you, but the main character, Curt, is going through an almost existential crisis and is careening towards insanity...but actions he takes...hideous actions that hurt other people...force him to confront how dangerous he's becoming...and he pulls back. Just enough to stop and protect someone whose life he's already pretty much fucked up. And feel sorry for it. And change his direction. He still winds up back in prison as a double murderer, but he finally knows who he is and how he hurt himself, and indications are he will not hurt anyone else.

I've had reviewers tell me how shocked they are at the end of the book, because they feel sorry for Curt despite his really quite evil actions.They also understand him. That helped me more than anything.

It makes me think that maybe, someday, that can happen for me.