Derry, Northern Ireland

Derry, Northern Ireland
A book I'm working on is set in this town.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Still too long...

I cut the treatment down to 6 pages. Here it is. I still need to slash one full page...dammit.

-----
Dair’s Window

WGA Registration #:

Adair Llewellyn is a stained-glass artist trying to rebuild his life after the death of his lover and years of legal action by the man’s parents.

Adair Llewellyn -- 35, gay, attractive, works in stained glass art, sensitive but stubborn about defending himself from bullies and injustice.

Wallace Caruthers -- 40, photogenic Lawyer, passionate and driven about civil rights for all, defended Dair from the lawsuit against him, very ambitious.

Jacob Massner -- 28, computer geek extraordinaire, lives and works in Tokyo, has no filter and can be myopic but cuts to the heart of things, Wallace’s Best Man.

Setsuko Messner -- 26, pregnant, loves Jacob as he is, writes slash fiction as La Baguette. Speaks Japanese, English, and French. Sees the world for what it is.

Marion Llewellyn -- 60, determinedly beautiful, owns a ski lodge in town, smart tongue, very sure of herself and aware of everything.

Adam Ferrier -- 26, ski instructor, French Canadian, died in an avalanche, disowned by his family for being gay, he pushed Dair into sharing his art with the world.

Reverend Samuels -- 80, frail, an Episcopal minister, walked with MLK for civil rights but does not agree with same-sex marriage. Willing to stay quiet because of Dair.

Act One: After 5 years of fighting vicious lawsuits by his dead lover’s parents, Dair returns home to prepare for his Christmas wedding to Wallace and be host for Jacob and Setsuko.

Act Two: Dair faces an arson attack and push-back from family and the community over the wedding. A physical altercation over the attack puts him in jail, setting the whole town on edge.

Act Three: The wedding is about to begin but Dair realizes he has not allowed himself time to grieve for Adam so cancels it and builds a stained glass window for his grandfather’s church.

It’s winter in Fairview, Washington, and ADAM sings DAIR awake, wanting to fool around; Dair prefers to snuggle, so Adam gets up to make them coffee. Dair hears glass break so goes to check. He wanders into his stained glass studio to find dust sheets over everything and it is so cold and Adam is outside, naked, whispering to him in the snow and --

Dair jolts as his name is called; he was daydreaming in his studio. It’s five years later and he looks every minute of it. The whole studio is covered in sheets, including the frame and diagram for an arched stained-glass window Dair was planning for his grandfather’s church. He holds a stained glass portrait of Adam like it’s the most precious thing in the world as memories of the man haunt him.

MARION barges in to let him know REVEREND SAMUELS arrived, in her usual snarky way. She tells him WALLACE is still in court so will be late. She leads him back into an open airy room that was once a lodge. But Wallace does arrive on time and has a tight discussion with Reverend Samuels about having same-sex marriage encoded into national law to make the Supreme Court’s ruling binding. Samuels is opposed, as is his assistant, NELDA. Marion enjoys mocking her father’s and Nelda’s opposition by pointing out inconsistencies in their beliefs.

Dair calms everyone and they discuss plans for his marriage to Wallace now that he’s back in his home. Set for Thanksgiving Day at five minutes to sunset, per Wallace’s demand, Samuels has agreed to say a few words though he will not officiate. Dair doesn’t care; what matters is family.

Dair and Wallace have lunch in a diner, where Dair is greeted by old friends...and glared at by a few others. We learn he almost lost his home and was forced to live in Seattle until the legal issues were settled. More memories of Adam crash over Dair, but he is able to focus on the moment. Wallace raises the possibility of running for office, and Dair jokingly says that would be grounds for divorce. He also agrees to pick up Wallace’s best man from the airport, the next day.

As Dair and Marion are cleaning the house, Wallace calls to tell him JACOB and his wife SETSUKO have already arrived from Tokyo. Jacob mixed up his days. Wallace is in meetings so can’t pick them up, so Dair goes and takes them to his Seattle studio to freshen up. He finds Jacob has an off-beat way of viewing Dair’s art, then they meet Wallace for dinner at a fine restaurant, where Jacob needles Wallace while Setsuko keeps him in check. It’s revealed Wallace and Jacob were lovers in Tokyo and Setsuko was fine with it. Dair’s not happy at the revelation but Wallace assures him it was only temporary.

En route home, Jacob focuses on his laptop while Dair and Setsuko chat. She writes slash fiction and has her own way of viewing the world. They stop at a stop at a store, where Dair runs into Nelda’s husband, BOBBY, who directs sneering remarks about gay men at him. Dair snipes back then, as he’s leaving, see Bobby throw a bottle of beer at Jacob as he and Nelda drive away. Dair calls the sheriff but expects nothing will be done.

Marion greets the trio with fresh beds and airy comments then heads home. Jacob and Setsuko see Dair’s more personal stained glass art, including the portrait of Adam. Jacob notices the glass is set in a way that makes Adam’s expression change with the light, so updates Dair’s website as a wedding present, using the portrait as the centerpiece. It’s beautiful, once it’s done, but it triggers more memories of Adam, in Dair. Then Jacob sets some music to going and draws Setsuko into a dance, oblivious to the effect it’s having on Dair.

It was Adam’s CD, and Dair remembers their courtship...the support he got from him...the joy they shared...how Adam kept him centered, even in the face of homophobic actions by Bobby and others...but the memories grow darker and more intense until he envisions Adam skiing to work and being caught in an avalanche and smothering...and his body being taken away by his hateful parents after they refused to let him say goodbye.

Dair bolts for his room, memories of Adam crushing him with one additional horror -- he can no longer see see Adam’s face. He used to be able to sketch Adam from memory. Half-dressed, he storms down to his studio and tries to sketch the man...but nothing comes out right. He forgets he’s barefoot in his studio and the glass has cut his feet. He shreds the sketches and takes them outside to burn in the snow, nearly in hysterics.

Jacob finds him so gets him up to a hot shower and removes glass chips from his soles, like Androcles. Dair reveals Adam’s parents sued him for community property, even though the two were not married. He spent five years fighting them, thanks to a homophobic judge who favored the parents. Wallace took over the case, got the judge removed, for bias, and it was tossed out. During this, they grew close.

Jacob gets Dair to bed and lies with him, like Adam used to and Wallace never has, and Dair drifts to sleep. Setsuko finds them and sings Jacob a children’s song so he can also sleep.

The next morning, they wake to a fire in Dair’s studio. All of the artwork is destroyed, including Adam’s portrait. As firemen finish up, Dair wanders out to gaze into the woods and sees a young red fox watching him, unafraid. When it finally skips away, he turns to see homophobic remarks painted on the side of his house, as well. The sheriff is reluctant to call it a hate crime, but Jacob and Marion sneer at his attitude.

Samuels shows up and asks Dair to move his wedding to Seattle, but Dair refuses to be driven off. It’s still four days to the ceremony and he plans to have the place looking great, by then. Samuels leaves, being driven by Nelda; Dair notices a fender on her truck is damaged and blames Bobby’s drunk driving.

Jacob Thinks Dair and Wallace are mis-matched and counsels against the wedding. They argue and Dair disparages Jacob’s inability to decide which sex he wants to be with, which he dismisses as indecisive. Jacob snaps those are Wallace’s words, so maybe they are right for each other.

Jacob and Dair silently work on the house and put up decorations. Marion asks Setsuko if Jacob is going to hurt Dair, and wonders why Setsuko puts up with Jacob. She believes when you love someone, you accept them for who they are. And she adds she thinks Dair will hurt Jacob.

When Dair takes out the garbage, he sees the red fox pounce on a mouse and carry it off...then notices paint scraped on a tree -- the same color as Nelda’s truck. He confronts Bobby in by Samuels’ church, and Bobby denies trying to burn Dair out and snarls he’s sorry Dair wasn’t killed with Adam. Dair jumps him. The fight is vicious but Dair has the upper hand until he is dragged off Bobby by Samuels and others. The sheriff arrives and arrests Dair for assault.

Dair is arraigned on Thanksgiving Eve, with Wallace at his side fighting what he calls ludicrous charges, since the paint on the tree by Dair’s house is from Nelda’s truck and there is a history of animosity between Dair and Bobby. Trial is set for December 15th.

Wallace is secretly pleased about the situation; he can use it to show how gay men and straight men are treated differently by the legal system. As Marion drives Dair home, he remembers driving with her and Adam and how alive they all seemed.

Samuels is waiting at Dair’s home. He’s been asked to leave his church because of the fight. Jacob is shocked Dair is still going through with the ceremony, the next day. Dair reveals half the reason he’s marrying Wallace it to prevent a repeat of what happened with Adam’s parents. Jacob is brutally disappointed at that...and angry.

So the lodge is ready. Guests have arrived. Food is being served. Samuels is there, but he’s refused to even talk to a couple more men who asked if he’d officiate at their weddings, and Jacob is pissed. It’s close to sunset but still no Wallace. Then he shows up with news crews and a couple of State Senators in tow. He’s making this into an event from which to launch his campaign for the legislature.

Dair goes upstairs to finish dressing the wedding...but sees a photo of him and Adam and remembers dressing Adam for one of Marion’s weddings. He sinks onto the bed.

Wallace waits then finally goes up to Dair’s room to find he has not moved. He sees the photo and snarls that Dair has idolized a conniving ski bum into sainthood. Dair says he can’t be what Wallace needs, nor can Wallace be the right support for him. Wallace asks if Dair and Jacob slept together, to Dair’s indignant shock. He would never do that to someone. Wallace goes down to dismiss the guests.

Marion comes upstairs and tells Dair the guests have moved over to her lodge. Jacob is joining them. Dair tells him of a trip he and Adam took to San Francisco, after Adam talked him into exhibiting his work at an art fair. While en route home, Dair asked Adam to move in with him. He also reveals he once caught Adam stealing money from him. Other people have told him Adam was no angel, and asks what Jacob thinks. Jacob replies he doesn’t care what people think, then leaves.

The trial results in a hung jury. The DA promises to re-file the charges, but Wallace says that will never happen. Marion has the last word, as she drives Dair home. She says his art became beautiful when he met Adam...but Adam is dead, and she fears Dair has given up on life.

Dair sits outside as it snows. He doesn’t move...until the fox reappears. With it is another fox. Snow drifts down on them...and they shake it off. And leave. Dair smiles and returns to his studio, still with memories of Adam. As if on auto-pilot, he starts work on the window he promised his grandfather. The project engulfs him as Adam’s ghost joins him and helps him work and makes him sleep...and bit by bit he builds a magnificent window showing Christ in a meadow with the Bible open before him, reading Matthew 7.

He sets the finished window into the church in time for Easter. Samuels invites him to sunrise services at the church, to start the healing process. Dair is non-committal...but Adam joins him to say how proud he is of Dair’s work, and how he will always be with him. Dair leaves, signs his house over to Marion to sell and catches a flight to Tokyo.

As Dair searches for Jacob, Setsuko, Easter services begin at the church. Dair reconnects with Jacob as the sunrise rises over the Cascade Mountains, its light shining through the stained glass window to reveal the image Dair hid in it is that of Adam blessing Jabob and Dair as they kiss.

And so they do.

6 comments:

FJ said...

I’ve done a little editing, in 3 comments, if it’ll help.
—————
Dair’s Window

WGA Registration #:

Adair Llewellyn, a stained-glass artist, is trying to rebuild his life after the death of Adam, his lover, and a long, bitter lawsuit brought by Adam’s parents.
…………

Adair Llewellyn -- 35, attractive, stained-glass artist, sensitive, but stubborn about defending himself from bullies and injustice.

Wallace Caruthers -- 40, a lawyer, photogenic, driven, ambitious, passionate about civil rights for all. Defended Dair in the lawsuit.

Jacob Massner -- 28, computer geek, lives and works in Tokyo, Wallace’s Best Man. Has no filter. Can be myopic, but cuts to the heart of things.

Setsuko Messner -- 26, pregnant, loves Jacob as he is, writes slash fiction as La Baguette. Speaks Japanese, English, and French. Sees the world for what it is.

Marion Llewellyn -- 60, determinedly beautiful, smart tongue, supremely self-confident, aware of everything. Owns a ski lodge in town.

Adam Ferrier -- 26, ski instructor, French Canadian. Disowned by his family for being gay. Pushed Dair into sharing his art with the world. Died in an avalanche.

Reverend Samuels -- 80, frail, an Episcopal minister. Walked with MLK for civil rights, but does not agree with same-sex marriage. Willing to stay quiet because of Dair.
…….……

Act One: After 5 years of fighting vicious lawsuits brought by his dead lover’s parents, Dair returns home to prepare for his Thanksgiving wedding to Wallace, and meets Jacob and Setsuko.

Act Two: Dair faces an arson attack and push-back from family and the community over the wedding. A fight over the attack lands him in jail, setting the whole town on edge.

Act Three: On the wedding day, Dair realizes he has not allowed himself time to grieve. So, he cancels it. Instead, he creates a stained glass window for his grandfather’s church.
……………

It’s deep winter in Fairview, Washington. ADAM sings DAIR awake, wanting to fool around. Dair prefers to snuggle, so Adam gets up to make them coffee. Dair hears glass break, and goes to check his studio. He finds dust sheets over everything, and it is so cold, and Adam is outside, naked, whispering to him in the snow and --

Dair jolts out of his daydream at the sound of his name. It’s five years later and he looks every minute of it. He stands in his studio. Sheets cover everything, including the frame and sketches for an arched window Dair was planning for his grandfather’s church. There is broken glass on the floor. Dair cradles a stained-glass portrait of Adam in his hands. Memories of the man haunt him.

MARION barges in to tell him, in her usual snark, that her father, REVEREND SAMUELS, has arrived, and that WALLACE will be late as he is still in court. She leads Dair into an open airy room of the former lodge. But Wallace arrives on time. He argues with Reverend Samuels and the assistant, NELDA, about encoding same-sex marriage into national law to make the Supreme Court’s ruling binding. Marion mocks her father’s and Nelda’s opposition by pointing out inconsistencies in their beliefs.

Dair calms everyone to discuss his wedding to Wallace, set for Thanksgiving Day at five minutes to sunset, per Wallace’s demand. Samuels agrees to say a few words, though he will not officiate. Dair doesn’t care; what matters is family.

While having lunch at a diner with Wallace, Dair is greeted by friends...and glared at by a few. We learn he almost lost his Fairview home, and had to live in Seattle until the lawsuit was settled. More memories of Adam crash over Dair, but he is able to focus on the moment. Wallace wonders if he could run for office; Dair jokes that would be grounds for divorce. He agrees to pick up Wallace’s best man JACOB at the airport tomorrow.

FJ said...

Part 2:
—————
As Dair and Marion are cleaning the house, Wallace calls to tell him Jacob and his wife SETSUKO have already arrived from Tokyo. Since Wallace is in meetings, Dair picks them up and takes them to his Seattle studio to freshen up. He finds Jacob has an off-beat way of viewing Dair’s art. They meet Wallace for dinner, where Jacob needles Wallace while Setsuko keeps her husband in check. Wallace and Jacob were lovers in Tokyo, and Setsuko was fine with it. Dair’s not happy, but Wallace assures him it was only temporary.

On the way home, while Jacob focuses on his laptop, Setsuko tells Dair that, as a slash fiction author, she has her own view of the world. They stop at a store, where Dair runs into Nelda and her husband, BOBBY, who sneers at him about gay men. Dair snipes back. As he leaves the store, he sees Bobby throw a beer bottle at Jacob out the truck window. Dair calls the sheriff, but expects nothing will be done.

At home, Marion greets the trio with fresh beds and airy comments, then leaves. Jacob and Setsuko see Dair’s more personal art, including Adam’s portrait. Jacob notices that changing the angle of light changes Adam’s expression. Inspired, he updates Dair’s website, using the portrait as the centerpiece. The result triggers more of Dair’s memories of Adam. Jacob plays one of Adam’s CDs, and draws Setsuko into a dance, oblivious to Dair’s reaction.

Dair remembers their courtship, Adam’s steadfast support, their shared joy, how Adam kept him centered despite homophobic actions from Bobby and others. Then he envisions Adam skiing to work, and the avalanche catching and smothering him. And Adam’s hateful parents taking the body away, refusing to let Dair say goodbye.

Dair bolts for his room, and realizes one additional horror -- he can no longer see Adam’s face. Half-dressed, he storms down to his studio. When he tries to sketch Adam, which he once did from memory, nothing comes out right. In his distress, he hasn’t even felt the broken glass cut his bare feet. He shreds the sketches, and goes outside to burn them in the snow.

Jacob finds and coaxes him into a hot shower, then removes glass from his soles. Dair reveals Adam’s parents sued for community property, even though the two were not married. After five years fighting them, thanks to a homophobic judge who favored the parents, Wallace took over, and got the judge removed as biased. The case was tossed out. During this, Wallace and Dair grew close.

Jacob gets Dair to bed, and lays with him as Adam did and Wallace never has. Dair sleeps. Setsuko comes and sings Jacob a lullaby, so he can also sleep.

They wake to a fire in Dair’s studio. All the artwork is destroyed, including Adam’s portrait. As firemen finish up, Dair wanders out to the woods, and sees a red fox watching him, unafraid. When it finally skips away, he turns to see homophobic remarks painted on the side of his house. The sheriff balks at calling this a hate crime, but Jacob and Marion sneer at his attitude.

Samuels arrives, and asks Dair to move the wedding to Seattle. Dair refuses to be driven off. He plans to have the place looking great for the ceremony in four days. Samuels leaves, driven by Nelda. Dair notices a damaged fender on her truck, and blames Bobby’s drunk driving.

Jacob thinks Dair and Wallace are mismatched, and counsels against the wedding. Dair, in turn, disparages Jacob’s indecision about which sex he wants to be with. Jacob snaps those are Wallace’s words, so maybe they are right for each other.

While Jacob and Dair silently put up decorations in the house. Marion asks Setsuko if Jacob is going to hurt Dair, and wonders why Setsuko puts up with Jacob. Setsuko believes when you love someone, you accept them for who they are. And she thinks Dair will hurt Jacob.

FJ said...

Part 2:
—————
As Dair and Marion are cleaning the house, Wallace calls to tell him Jacob and his wife SETSUKO have already arrived from Tokyo. Since Wallace is in meetings, Dair picks them up and takes them to his Seattle studio to freshen up. He finds Jacob has an off-beat way of viewing Dair’s art. They meet Wallace for dinner, where Jacob needles Wallace while Setsuko keeps her husband in check. Wallace and Jacob were lovers in Tokyo, and Setsuko was fine with it. Dair’s not happy, but Wallace assures him it was only temporary.

On the way home, while Jacob focuses on his laptop, Setsuko tells Dair that, as a slash fiction author, she has her own view of the world. They stop at a store, where Dair runs into Nelda and her husband, BOBBY, who sneers at him about gay men. Dair snipes back. As he leaves the store, he sees Bobby throw a beer bottle at Jacob out the truck window. Dair calls the sheriff, but expects nothing will be done.

At home, Marion greets the trio with fresh beds and airy comments, then leaves. Jacob and Setsuko see Dair’s more personal art, including Adam’s portrait. Jacob notices that changing the angle of light changes Adam’s expression. Inspired, he updates Dair’s website, using the portrait as the centerpiece. The result triggers more of Dair’s memories of Adam. Jacob plays one of Adam’s CDs, and draws Setsuko into a dance, oblivious to Dair’s reaction.

Dair remembers their courtship, Adam’s steadfast support, their shared joy, how Adam kept him centered despite homophobic actions from Bobby and others. Then he envisions Adam skiing to work, and the avalanche catching and smothering him. And Adam’s hateful parents taking the body away, refusing to let Dair say goodbye.

Dair bolts for his room, and realizes one additional horror -- he can no longer see Adam’s face. Half-dressed, he storms down to his studio. When he tries to sketch Adam, which he once did from memory, nothing comes out right. In his distress, he hasn’t even felt the broken glass cut his bare feet. He shreds the sketches, and goes outside to burn them in the snow.

Jacob finds and coaxes him into a hot shower, then removes glass from his soles. Dair reveals Adam’s parents sued for community property, even though the two were not married. After five years fighting them, thanks to a homophobic judge who favored the parents, Wallace took over, and got the judge removed as biased. The case was tossed out. During this, Wallace and Dair grew close.

Jacob gets Dair to bed, and lays with him as Adam did and Wallace never has. Dair sleeps. Setsuko comes and sings Jacob a lullaby, so he can also sleep.

They wake to a fire in Dair’s studio. All the artwork is destroyed, including Adam’s portrait. As firemen finish up, Dair wanders out to the woods, and sees a red fox watching him, unafraid. When it finally skips away, he turns to see homophobic remarks painted on the side of his house. The sheriff balks at calling this a hate crime, but Jacob and Marion sneer at his attitude.

Samuels arrives, and asks Dair to move the wedding to Seattle. Dair refuses to be driven off. He plans to have the place looking great for the ceremony in four days. Samuels leaves, driven by Nelda. Dair notices a damaged fender on her truck, and blames Bobby’s drunk driving.

Jacob thinks Dair and Wallace are mismatched, and counsels against the wedding. Dair, in turn, disparages Jacob’s indecision about which sex he wants to be with. Jacob snaps those are Wallace’s words, so maybe they are right for each other.

While Jacob and Dair silently put up decorations in the house. Marion asks Setsuko if Jacob is going to hurt Dair, and wonders why Setsuko puts up with Jacob. Setsuko believes when you love someone, you accept them for who they are. And she thinks Dair will hurt Jacob.

FJ said...

Part 3:
—————
When Dair takes out the garbage, he sees the red fox pounce on a mouse and carry it off, then notices paint the same color as on Nelda’s truck scraped on a tree. He confronts Bobby at Samuels’ church. Bobby denies arson, and snarls he’s sorry Dair wasn’t killed with Adam. Dair jumps him, and has the upper hand in a vicious fight, until Samuels and others drag him off. The sheriff arrests Dair for assault.

Dair is arraigned on Thanksgiving Eve. Wallace argues against “these ludicrous charges”, since the paint on the tree by Dair’s house is from Nelda’s truck, and Dair and Bobby have a history of animosity. Trial is set for December 15th.

Wallace is secretly pleased, because he can use the case to show that gay men are treated differently than straight men by the legal system. As Marion drives Dair home, he remembers driving with her and Adam. How alive they all seemed.

At home, Samuels is waiting to tell Dair that his church’s council excommunicated Dair because of the fight. Jacob is shocked Dair still plans to have the ceremony the next day. Dair says he’s marrying Wallace partly to prevent a repeat of what happened with Adam’s parents. Jacob is disgusted and angry at this.

On the wedding day, the lodge is ready. Guests have arrived, and are being served. Samuels has refused to even talk to other male couples, who asked if he’d officiate at their weddings. Jacob is pissed. Just before sunset, Wallace finally comes in, but with a news crew and a couple of State Senators. He’s launching his campaign for the legislature with this event.

Dair goes upstairs to finish dressing, but sees a photo of him with Adam, and remembers dressing Adam for one of Marion’s weddings. He sinks onto the bed.

Wallace waits, then goes up to Dair’s room. On seeing the photo, he snarls that Dair has turned a conniving ski bum into a saint. Dair says he can’t be what Wallace needs, nor can Wallace be the right support for him. Wallace asks if Dair and Jacob slept together, to Dair’s indignant shock. Wallace goes down to dismiss the guests.

Marion comes and tells Dair the guests have moved over to her lodge. Jacob comes in. Dair tells him how he went with Adam to a San Francisco art fair, after Adam talked him into showing his work. Afterward, Dair asked Adam to move in with him, even though he once caught Adam stealing money from him. Other people told him Adam was no angel. He asks what Jacob thinks. Jacob says he doesn’t care what people think, then leaves.

The trial results in a hung jury. The DA promises to re-file the charges, but Wallace says that will never happen. Marion, as she drives Dair home, says his art became beautiful when he met Adam. Adam is dead now, and she fears Dair has given up on life.

It is snowing. Dair sits outside, unmoving, until the fox reappears, this time with another fox. They shake off the falling snow. And leave. Dair smiles and returns to his studio, still with memories of Adam. Calm now, he starts work anew on the window he promised his grandfather. The project engulfs him. Adam’s ghost helps him work and lulls him to sleep. Bit by bit he shapes a magnificent image of Christ in a meadow with the Bible open before him, reading Matthew 7.

He sets the finished window in the church in time for Easter. Samuels invites him to the sunrise service to start a reconciliation. Dair is non-committal, but Adam joins him to say how proud he is of Dair’s work, and how he will always be with him. Dair signs his house over to Marion to sell, and catches a flight to Tokyo.

Easter service begins. Dair reconnects with Jacob as the sun rises over the Cascade Mountains, the angle of light revealing a second image in the window: Adam blessing Jacob and Dair as they kiss.

And so they do.

FJ said...

I have somee of questions about this story:

Where did the broken glass come from?
Is the unfinished plan for the church window destroyed in the fire as well?
What happens to Wallace? I get the feeling he’s in love with love as an idea.
How involved is Dair with the church? Why would he even care? You set the window plan as being for his grandfather’s church.
I don’t really get Setsuko as becoming important to Dair. Does she?
Was Dair’s home really a ski lodge before Adam died? Is that an important detail?

JamTheCat said...

Thanks for your edit of the treatment. It's great and brings out things I hadn't thought about. Thank you so much!