Pushing...

I'm doing the long march through Carli's Kills...pushing through to the end. Now less because i want the story to come together than just plain stubbornness. I have too much invested in it to let go. I love Zeke andCarli, both, and want their story to be completed. Can't do that if I dump it or put it off till later. That doesn't work. I'd find some other excuse to let it go, and that's not the way I want to be. I started this thing; I have to make it real, dammit.

I honestly have no idea if it makes one single solitary bit of sense. I'm just blindly writing along and going where the characters lead me, again. Even though doing that's already led me to a dead end, once. For which I blame Carli, since she's the anomaly in my body of work. I've always had issues with trusting women, and I've been fighting the impulse to make her male and Lara be a sister instead of a daughter.

Right now my head hurts and my eyes ache and I'm weary of sitting...and I wonder how the hell Stephen King does it. He's got several dozen books out, under two names, some of them twice as long as mine, all well-written...and he's still doing it, even after nearly being killed by a minivan. Me, I'm fighting like crazy to make a simple revenge-thriller with erotic overtones make sense.

I didn't have this trouble when I wrote How to Rape a Straight Guy. Granted, it's a short novel, but it fell together. Most of my books have, and the ones that haven't, I still never had this much trouble with getting them to work out. Is it age? King's 5 years older than me. Does he have the same issues, now? Or am I so locked into one genre, I can't break out without a huge amount of effort?

Whatever the issue, this does not bode well for A Place of Safety.