Brendan learns who he is

 This is part of chapter 4, where Brendan is told what's going on...

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Aunt Mari drove up and honked at me, and I realized I was standing dead in the middle of the drive. I stepped aside to let her pass and followed the estate...no, station wagon back to the garage. Made it through the large gate before it closed and trotted up to her like a pet dog. 

“Look who’s out and about,” she said as she opened the door. 

“Aunt Mari,” I croaked, “this neighborhood...the space of it all...” 

“Oh, this is nothin’, Bren. What ya doin’ with that?” She motioned to the iron. 

“Thought I’d mend it. Spare you the need of a new one.” 

“I already have one, but if ya’d like to fix it, that’d be nice. I could take the new one back.” 

The rear of the car used some sort of amazing design to vanish into its tail and she pulled out bags of groceries, saying, “Take these in, will ya?” 

I nodded and carried two full bags into the kitchen. She followed with another. Since I still had the iron she had to open the sliding door. 

We set everything on the center counter. 

“Now you sit, lad. I’ll put these away.” 

“I could help you.” 

“No, it’s faster if I do it. I know where everything goes. And we've plenty of time before we leave.” 

"Leave?" 

“The doctor’s. Isn’t that why ya're dressed?” 

I'd had no particular reason to put on clothes; I'd just wanted to. But thinking about it, I remembered her mentioning at some time or other there was to be a visit. So I shrugged. “Is this all right, what I’m wearin’?” 

“Sure it is. He’s very informal, this man.” 

“You say I’ve seen him before,” I said and... 

The round blond lady dressed in white with a kind face caressed my cheek with the backs of her fingers and said to Aunt Mari, “Lord, his eyes...so big and hurt, they cut right to your heart.“ 

I tensed. Made myself turn focus to the iron. Began to inspect it, carefully. 

Aunt Mari was putting vegetables into the fridge so didn’t notice. “He's a heart specialist." 

"Was...was I having problems with it? My heart?" 

"A little. The pills ya got are for it." 

I nodded, still a bit uncentered. "There was mention of it, I think, when I was at Altnagelvin. But the doctor spoke with Ma, not me." 

She chuckled and said, "Ya were at Altnagelvin?" 

I cast her a confused glance. "Ma didn't tell you?" 

She started putting tins of vegetables in a pantry. "How could she? Yer doctor's name, here, is Gilbert, and he come here, a few times. Then I took ya to him, twice. He told us yer break from the world was good because it helped keep ya quiet and gave yer heart time to mend." 

"Was I so bad off, then?" 

"There were problems, but they've settled. Dr. Gilbert can better fill ya in on them." 

"I doubt I mended from being quiet," I huffed. "The B-girls say I was anything but." 

She cast me a smile. "The B-girls?" 

"Well, I...I can't tell them apart, yet, so..." 

Then she chuckled. "That actually fits those two. Ya'll learn how to handle them. And keep in mind, they both love to exaggerate." 

I shrugged and focused on the iron, not yet willing to accept the snippets of memory that I’d catch. 

"The doctor also said to be patient, with ya. That you'd regain your senses. Seems he was right.” 

"What was it wrong with me?" I asked, fingering the iron's back panel. "Was it my heart caused me to lose my mind?" 

"Ya didn't lose it, Bren. Ya got a severe shock and yer brain couldn't handle it so shut down, that's all. He said it was something like an akinetic catatonia." She dug more tinned goods from the bag she looked straight at me. “Do ya remember anything since ya got here? Any of it?” 

I just shook my head. The iron's back panel wasn’t easy to remove, but I managed to get off to reveal the connections. “Have you a knife I can use?” 

She handed me a strip of metal that held a razor’s blade. “This do?” 

“Aye.” 

I unscrewed the fasteners and got to work on cutting the wire and stripping off the casing so I’d have bald wire to reconnect to them. I slipped the newly stripped part into its holder then tightened everything down with the edge of the blade before replacing the panel. Finally, I looked around for an outlet to test it only to notice Aunt Mari staring at me. 

“What?” I asked. 

“Ya've not heard a word I’ve said,” she replied, a bit peeved. 

“When?” 

“For the last five minutes. I’ve been talkin’ along and ya’ve been offerin’ up an occasional grunt to suggest ya're listenin’, but ya’ve been so focused on that iron, ya haven’t heard a thing, have ya?” 

Shite. I shrugged. “I...I can get like that. On occasion, Ma had to flick me with her finger to snap me from it, but it’s only ‘cause she’d go on and on and I’d just stop listenin’.” 

“And ya think I go on and on like yer mother did?” 

“No!” Now I felt irritated, her making me feel awkward, like that. “I just...I have the habit of it when I’m workin’. I don’t mean anything by it.” 

“Don’t worry,” she said and rubbed my hair. “Lord, ya had such lovely curls, once. Ya like your hair like this?” 

I nodded. “I think I’d prefer it in this heat. I already feel the need of another bath.” 

“Oh, this is nothin’. Wait till August.” 

“August?” 

“That’s usually the worst month for heat and humidity, with September almost as bad.” 

I began to float, as if my feet were no longer touching the floor. I dropped the iron to the counter and just managed to ask, “Aunt Mari, when am I to go home?” 

She did not look at me. Just busied herself with folding the paper bags. “Oh, I...um, I’m not so very sure what’s to happen next.” 

I did not like the sound of that...the meaning of it... “Am I banished?!" 

She only sighed and put the bags into a cabinet drawer. She wasn't answering me. She was trying to avoid my question. 

I could barely breathe. "Why? What did I do?” 

She took in a deep breath and turned to me. “Nothing. It was just an accident and...” 

"Accident? It was a bloody bomb that took down half a...!" 

Her eyes grew sharp and she snapped, "No! Ya were nowhere near a bomb. It was a farming accident. Ya saw yer father decapitated and..." 

"What the bloody hell are you on about?!" 

"Whist that talk! Listen to me. Brendan Kinsella left Derry before that bomb. He had a passport and his mother got his note, showing he left. It was after that, when the bomb went off." 

Then it hit me. "You said I was nowhere." 

She very deliberately said, "We don't know where Brendan is or went. We've no way to contact him. You are Brennan McGabbhin, third cousin to me. From a farm in Donegal." 

“But I was...” whispered from me. 

"Ya were in a farm accident! Nowhere near a bomb." 

"But that's not true...it's not...not..." 

Danny looked around at me, startled, his eyes wide and I turned and started to run for the shop but I slipped on the wet pavement and the world vanished in a cloud of white smoke and fire and silence and I was lying on the ground, blood covering my face and screaming and Danny grabbed me and forced me to my feet and held me as Colm punched me and... 

I was staring at the ceiling, a cold rag to my head and my heart pounding like the devil. It took me a moment to realize I was stretched out on the kitchen floor. Aunt Mari was kneeling over me, a portable phone to her ear. “...When he just keeled over,” she said. "Oh, he's comin' 'round."