Oh...my...

The Houston part of APoS really does need a lot of work. Superficial. Skating along. Truncated moments between Brendan and characters who are important to him, who then vanish. Ugh...

This is my rendition of how Brendan looks at the end of the book, as he's about to leave Houston and return to his home. He knows he cannot go there as himself because he's still being sought by the British and the Police Authority in Northern Ireland, so will use a friend's identity.

But he also knows his old friends won't be fooled and word will get around, so he cannot stay for long...even though he has to return. I need to make this a gut-wrenching decision, for him, and it's not, yet. Nowhere near.

I shouldn't be harsh about my writing here, really. This section is only in 2nd draft while Derry is in 4th. But it's still awkward reading how casual this part is. Granted, it has to cover more than 7 years of his life, but it needs to lead up to his return to Derry and why he's going even though he no longer feels a connection to the city...even as he feels homesick. A dichotomy that needs to be handled carefully.

I do have moments I'm pleased with...like a confrontation between Brendan and his Uncle Sean that is brutal in its blunt honesty about his situation. Brendan learns he has no control over his life, and his attempts to regain it have not only been fruitless, they've put a member of his family in danger, in NI.

Damn, I'm reaching for the stars with this book, and I'm so nervous about it. I'm not a straightforward writer, like Hemingway and Faulkner and even Tolstoy. I have to work and rework and re-rework my writing, over and over until it reaches a point where I'm happy enough with it to let go. Hell, CK went through a dozen honest drafts before I could publish it...and that's a much shorter, much simpler story.

But...it's gonna take what it takes to work, and I can't stop till it agrees with me that it does. And it's not agreeing, right now.