It's maybe...maybe just on the weak side? Or something? The opening to NWFO was vague and slow, but that made sense because Brendan was coming out of a psychotic break and finding his footing, again. This? The whole I am who I am but I'm not is just a bit too much on the cute side. And that is inappropriate.
But I still don't know what to use to replace it. I just know I can't get to work on the rest until I know what this is. It's how I work. Front to back. Beginning to end. Over and over and over, but not until I know what the starting words are.
No matter how many rewrites I did for Derry, the opening line was always basically the same.
Those who knew Eamonn Kinsella--and were truly being honest with themselves--had to admit that were be born but ten miles to the west or north his murder would have been seen as a fitting end to a hard and brutal man.
A word or two may have changed, been added or removed, but that sentence was always the basic opening line. From the beginning. Same for NWFO, spacing words and sentences out to reflect a boy returning from a deep emotional state. I never had any other plan in mind, except that.
But this one? Just continuing from the second volume, like I should number it chapter 32? It feels wrong, and has, consistently. And I don't know what to do about it, yet.
But I'm not going to say I hate me, when I'm like this. I'm not. It's my process...and I accept it. Dammit.
I fucking accept it.
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