Better...

Got more done on MQM. 108 pages, which puts me up to Chapter Ten and over 60,000 words. That's with me cutting some repetition. I still had a couple of moments of What the fuck and I doing and Why am I even trying creep into my brain, but I was able to circle around them and let them dissipate.

Something that seems to be rising in the telling of Simon's story is along the lines of The world has always been unfair and we're just no longer able to avoid the reality of it. Nor are we willing to do anything to change that. One or two people can make no difference, not really, but getting more on board is greater than a Herculean task. It's impossible in today's world. It's too fucking chaotic.

That sounds pretty bleak. But I'm taken back to Voltaire's Candide, again and again, where he comes to the conclusion that it's best to just tend to yourself. There's also Cervantes' Don Quixote, where after all his misadventures and troubles, the Don renounces chivalry as foolish, and dies. Both books looked at the world and saw how seriously it and the people in it were lacking in worth.

I don't think for one second I'm on their level, but I can't see what other direction this story can go.

It's hard to deal with the world, at the moment, because it's now all fucking available to you with a few clicks on a keyboard. You have to make a conscious effort not to fall into that whirlpool of shit, especially considering the assholes currently running things.

So today I just had just one serious goal -- do my laundry. And managed it. Also made my bed with clean sheets. Heated some leftovers in an attempt to declutter my fridge. My back hurts, as does my neck, but I'm handling it with Icy hot and Advil. 

Small victories, I suppose.