Waylaid...

Been a rough few days just trying to catch up with everything...and I'm still not. I did a fast trip to Brockport, yesterday, in the snow to pick up some archives. All were in bankers boxes but they weren't ship-able in that fashion, so I brought them back to the office and set them into slightly larger boxes then took them to Southwest Air Cargo to head out. By the time I was done, I was exhausted.

Part of the issue was the actual driving in poor weather. It makes me tense, to say the least, especially since I'm in a rental car with my own insurance covering it. It's less me I'm worried about than the other idiots on the road going 70-80 in sleeting conditions while rigs are going 55. It was a 50 mile drive but took me an hour and a half, each way.

It also took all my concentration, so I didn't really think about APoS as I'm toodling along. Not that I need to, much, right now. I'm in a section that I have a good idea is pretty much in order. I've got one chapter to add about the trip to Austin for the punk band, later on, but it's flowing that direction. Brendan's about to go through some brutal changes, again, and I want them to slip up on him.

Today was paperwork day, finalizing the costing for two jobs I have...one of which starts on Wednesday, in San Francisco. Meaning I'm flying there Tuesday. And in the office Monday to help with the book fairs happening over the next two weekends. So absolutely no writing getting done till I'm back in 10 days. And that's if the potential job in Houston comes through. Not guaranteed right now; the client is balking at the cost. A million dollars worth of books and they're whining because we want to crate them for protection.

What ya gonna do?

Rush and run

I now have six possible jobs lined up, of which only one is an absolute, at this time. Today was spent working out the logistics and travel arrangements and expense estimates and materials needed and on and on. Fortunately, we're not talking about my money being used in this, because if they take too much longer to decide, costs are gonna jump by a minimum of 50%.

I'm not crazy about some of these jobs because they won't be easy, but the money will be nice and I'll be able to see some people I know who are still in LA. I also may get to do a bit more research in Houston and complete my Vertigo tour in SFO. But we'll see how it goes.

I'm up to Chapter 17 in APoS - New World For Old. Brendan's en route to New Orleans for Mardi Gras thanks to his new job and his supervisor being a Cajun from there. The man's family is going in this monster Oldsmobile 88 Cruiser and all but drag Brendan along. Included is a young woman he finds attractive -- Evangeline, who's become friends Jeremy, thanks to Brendan, since both are focused in the languages department at UH. She's doing Russian; he's doing Chinese.

Brendan's begun to feel left behind. Cousin Scott's at UT in Austin. His younger brother, Rhuari, is learning Irish Gaelic, while Joanna was learning French. Brendan's only second language is the texts from repair manuals; those are a world unto themselves. Still, when I had an old Volvo the Chilton's repair manual helped me rebuild the fluid clutch, carburetors and brakes. But that car was so easy to work on, it shamed me into learning. It'd still be running if it hadn't been broadsided by a Ford Galaxy.

My Civic is a better car but I can't do any of the work on it. Even though it's from 1998, there are still electronic aspects that need specific adjustments. There was even one occasion where I had it serviced in LA, picked it up, drove it four blocks and it died because the mechanic forgot to reset some gadget or other. Like my taxes, I let those who know do this kind of work because then when something goes wrong I can make them feel bad.

I'm such a bastard, at times...

Easy Rider vibes...

Brendan got himself a real motorcycle. Initially, I had him buying a Motopic Seata, from Spain, but he didn't like that. Hid every reference I had made about it in my files. Even online. But then he latched onto a 1966 Montesa Impala Sport. Not Bugatti or Harley level, but right for him. Can run a hundred miles per hour and gives him the same feeling as when he's ice skating in the Galleria. I couldn't deny him.

Though I did make it in red.

I'm through chapter 14, now, and into changes he's making in his life. Attitudes shifting and less concern about his past. Hell, less connection, even. He wants it all gone. New life. New start. And this bike gives him mobility. Never mind that he doesn't have a license to drive...which almost causes an issue when a pickup truck pulls out in front of him and he smashes his front wheel.

Fortunately, he was wearing a light helmet because his aunt demanded it, but now he's willing to get a real one. They weren't required, back then, and photos on drivers licenses weren't happening for another couple years so using a copy of his cousin's kept the cops off his ass.

He's making friends, including with an illegal Mexican named Hugo, whose casual attitude serves him well. They do drugs and drink, and Hugo has a line of girls who like him so he gives Brendan access to some. It's casually misogynistic, but it's the 70s and the feminist revolution was still working its way through everyone's psyche.

Next chapter is Jeremy returning from Israel, completely changed, and finding that Brendan is the only person he can connect with. Because they've both seen death...Brendan on Bloody Sunday and the bombing; Jeremy during the Yom Kippur war...and it alters your view of the world.

Darkness is returning...

Brendan is a bad ass...

In the chapter I finished working on, today, Brendan uses a baseball bat to crack the knees of an abusive cop in order to protect a waitress at the bar where he works. Memories of his father's abuse of his mother clash through him so he almost clips the guy in the head, too. Todd, the bartender, has to stop him and kick him out, fast, before the police arrive.

It's not like Brendan's seeking trouble or out to prove himself to anyone. It was just instinct mixed with a memory of seeing the IRA kneecap someone he knew, over stealing. This on top of his reaction when he suspects a doctor's nurse abused him are bringing out a sharp, confrontational side to him that is possibly going to happen more and more.

I'm now through chapter 13 and the total wordage is over 115K. He's18 and feeling a need to gain control over more of his life. But when he tries to find out his real status in the country, he keeps getting half-answers from his aunt and uncle, making him suspect more is going on with him. He'll keep digging, and even send secret letters to Mairead.

This spurt of work came after a day of my usual self-flagellatory psychosis. I don't know what I'm doing. This is all shit. Why am I bothering? I should just give up writing, completely. And on and on. I'm feeling my age, in both body and spirit, so these moments come in like waves crashing against Hawai'i's North Shore. Then they ride back out. And I regain equilibrium. And keep moving forward, baby step by baby step.

Letting Brendan shift from scamp to scoundrel helped. So did finding that image of Robert Carlysle with his smoke and shank. 

"Don't make me an angel," Brendan keeps telling me. "Let me find my own way." Oh, will he ever...

Maybe I'm getting old...

I'm becoming agoraphobic. I was going to run out and grab some things I needed and instead I talked myself into waiting until tomorrow. When I'll have to get milk, at the very least. I'm also juggling pulling together estimates for 5 different jobs -- San Francisco, Los Angeles, Houston, Hudson Valley, and London -- and it's got my brain scattered. I barely got my expenses and invoice in to Caladex.

Which is a long way of saying I got no writing done, today. I got lazy and watched new episodes of Midsomer Murders. They came out last month, on Acorn, and I didn't know. There's also a new season of Vera coming up. So I went uncaring about money and set up Britbox and Acorn, again. 

I have to watch MM because it still has Nick Hendrix as DS Jamie Winter and he's who I based DS Finley Winterbourne on in The Beast in the Nothing Room. A book I am seriously proud of because of how well its mystery works and its tag line is -- How do you stop a serial killer who kills no one and doesn't even exist?

I only watch Vera because it started out with David Leon as her DS and he matched Brenda Blethyn in every way. To the extent that when he left he was replaced with a washed-out version of him who has zero charisma. But Brenda's cool and that's not out for another month, and their mysteries are a bit better situated than Midsomer Murders' ones; the latter are just cozy...like Agatha Christi stuff. And Finn...I mean, Nick is fun to watch (which makes absolutely no sense to me because he is not my type, but there it is).

So to finish up, I got distracted and I feel fine about it.

Back on track...

Okay...I reworked a section of the Celebration chapter to deal with Brendan beginning to see that a need for control is swirling around him in too many ways, and it may tie into the Dean Corll mass killing spree. The term serial killer wasn't coined until years later, depending on who you choose to believe.

The FBI called it serial homicide in the middle 70s, and apparently the LAPD changed that to serial killer in the middle 80s. But this section of New World For Old takes place in 1973, when Brendan is slowly regaining his footing in reality, so gotta go with the lingo. He still has flashbacks and even sudden sharp memories of what happened to him while he was catatonic, and they can be exacerbated by current events.

Something else he's becoming aware of is the uncertainty of his status in the US. He was brought over late in October 1972, and being a citizen of the UK he's given an automatic 3 month visa. If he was provided a medical visa, that can be extended for an additional 3 months, if I understand this right. But it's now August, more than ten months later. Which makes him totally illegal.

That means him going to a gay bar when he's just seventeen years old and drinking is really insane. If the place got raided and he was caught, it would cause huge issues for not only him but his Aunt and Uncle. What makes this even more fun is, if he is caught and gets deported back to Northern Ireland, it's possible he'll be either arrested by the British or killed by the IRA. Mairead and Aunt Mari have done too much to help him to let that happen.

Anyway, now I'm up to page 177 out of 510 and 114,300 words. This part's going to wind up bigger and more involved than Derry is, because I haven't even written the road trip to Austin to hear a punk band called The Next play at Raul's...and maybe a trip to San Antonio to visit the Alamo.

A truly brilliant man, I am...not...

I didn't take my laptop with me on this trip because it was just an overnight and I figured it was too much of a pain to ferry around. Well, the fates decided I needed a good kick in the ass to remind me that any time I think I know what I'm doing, I don't. Nor should I have the hubris to believe I do.

My plan was to work more on some thoughts I had about APoS, the night before, while waiting for my flight. It's all about emphasizing how the need for control plays a massive part in what everyone is doing in not only NI but also the serial killings in Houston and even Brendan's father and Aunt & Uncle. Of course, it's not something I want to explicitly state; I want it to grow from the story...but it's a solid start to understanding another aspect of what the story is about.

Brendan cannot be controlled. Not really. He does his own thing, no matter what, and others around him find that hard to deal with. I need to illustrate it better, but at the moment it's mainly shown through his relationship with his mother and the church. It will, however, become more and more evident throughout the Houston part of the story as his sense of independence gets him into some truly vicious situations...and he learns just how far people will go to control others and force them into their own view of how they should be.

So I was going to have 5 hours in the airport to work it through until this job popped up, and suddenly I needed to start working out the logistics of it because it's happening the second week of February, immediately after a packing job in San Francisco and immediately before the California Book Fair. What materials will be needed? What are the options for travel and where to stay? What's it going to cost? How long will it take to do? And all of it on my phone, only. Which does not have anywhere near the information I needed to prep this, in full, or any of the links I've set up in Chrome.

Still I got it worked out and sent off an estimate for my part of it, today...but it turns out we probably won't be able to present the estimate to the client till Friday because we need the final okay for the SF job and that's not coming till Thursday.

If I'd had my laptop with me, I could have had this done in an hour or two. Never again.

Road trip...

Actually, a flight to Providence, RI to collect an archive to ship to a university. Flying down, tomorrow, and back Monday night. I'm not taking my laptop; it's a quickie trip and I just won't have time to do anything so why ferry it with me? I'll have my phone and can handle Facebook and Twitter and Tribel and Instagram on that, as need be. Take photos of the archives once they're on pallets. And since I'm not taking a bag, the lighter I can make my backpack, the better. This will give my brain time to sort through the new idea Brendan set up connecting the violence of Derry, Houston and the Catholic Church.

It looks like I also have a job coming up in San Francisco the first three days of February, for another archive and collection of books. And then comes the California Book Fair. There's a possibility of a collection to pack and ship in the UK that might be especially delicate, so I might push really hard to be sent over for that since it's for a major client...but we'll see how that goes. First they have to decided what's in it.

I did go through Chapter 10 of APoS, again, to smooth things out and give a hint that Scott was trying to screw Brendan up. Of course, it backfires because Brendan is far more casual about things than Scott is, down deep. He's had to be. Then Scott's off to Austin, soon after, and Brendan's only issue is the B-Girls. But he just lets them do their thing and ignores their orders, knowing they'll change them the next time he sees them, anyway.

I think when I do the next full run through APoS, I'm doing it back to front. As I work on New World For Old, I'm finding references to aspects that really need to be in Derry. Nothing major but something to note.  Like the smell of beer on Da's breath and Scott being drunk reminding Brendan of it. That's one of the reasons Scott's plan to cause trouble doesn't work; Brendan dislikes American beer and cannot stand any of the hard stuff. He just does pot and pills and his blesséd Marlboros. So early 70s.

Moving along...

I think I'm into a smoother part of APoS Book Two, now. Scott takes Brendan to a gay bar where they're having a drag show, intending to get Brendan drunk and in trouble. He's upset he didn't get the pool house for himself. He'd already tried to do it once at his father's bar, but Brendan turned out not to like rum and coke so ignored the loaded drink.

So Brendan has a single Coors during the drag show, while Scott winds up being fed boilermakers by a man seated next to him and gets too loaded to drive. Meanwhile, Brendan, who was nervous and ready to run at the start, has calmed down and made the acquaintance of Everett, a gay man who's decent and kind, and sees a couple of kids in trouble.

He takes both boys back to his place, driving Scott's GTO, and fixes tea for Brendan, then he drives them home. He's a solid counterpoint to the Corll serial killings unfolding at the time, and will have a major impact on Brendan's life, in Houston.

Something that's begun to happen is Brendan beginning to see Corll's murders as connected to the mass murder of Bloody Sunday and the molestation of children by priests in the Catholic Church. Especially as regards his friend, Danny. I'm still thinking through how best to show this, but Brendan's sensing there's a streak of brutal selfishness in people, and while some can control it others either can't or won't. And though it rarely blossoms into murder, it does make some fight to take care of their wants and desires above everyone else's, even if they cause others trouble. Rather like what the GOP is doing, now.

I'm sure others have dug into this idea far more completely and properly than I ever could, but by keeping it at Brendan's level...as he's working through memories of seeing a good friend help men prepare to attack Eamonn on the PD march, and constables attacking peaceful demonstrators on October 5th, and the murderous expressions on the paratroopers shooting unarmed people on Bloody Sunday, he's also finding it happens in Houston, and the idea begins to explain things to him. He finally figures out something like...it's just part of man's nature, neither evil nor good. Those are labels used to condemn or praise, often without considering of the true meaning behind the actions being referred to.

But this is a new aspect of the story I'm still circling around. I may be laying too much onto it. However, it's better to have too much to put in than not enough.

Past the hump?

I got through Chapter 8, Celebration, and set up Chapter 9's structure. I took 7 pages from the first one and used them at the beginning of the second. Then I expanded a reference to Brendan having trouble with a drunk at one of his uncle's other bars that almost crashes into a fight because he won't sing Danny Boy.

That hints that Scott is a troublemaker, something I may bring out more. Scott's upset Brendan has the pool house to live in. It's only because Jeremy is there that the confrontation doesn't spiral out of control. First hint that Jere is a black belt in Aikido. Now Scott's going to drag Brendan to a drag show in Montrose, even though he's not yet 18. But again, it doesn't turn out like expected, and Scott is off to university so things stop, by default.

The B-Girls also ram their way back into Brenda's life by taking him on as their pet and showing him the best clothes to buy. Nothing high-end like Neiman's or Frost Brothers, but intense. He's finally seen the best way to deal with those two is jut let them do what they want and ignore them once he's out of their sight. So now I just need to go through them to make sure they're in proper order.

There's also reference to the Houston Serial Killers -- Dean Croll, Elmer Wayne Henley and David Brooks. They invite Brendan to come to one of Dean's parties but he says no. A couple weeks later, word breaks.

27 boys went missing from the Heights area of Houston, including brothers, and the cops didn't do anything about it. Even after Henley shot Corll and they learned of the horror, their attitude was, Cool. We've got a higher number of dead than Juan Corona.

Then a few years later, after John Wayne Gacy was credited with 33 murders, the cops tried to find more bodies in places they'd once been told to look, so they could maintain their record...but to their irritation could find nothing more.

If that doesn't tell you what cops are all about, nothing will.