Another third...

I've got to be careful, now. This story is starting to act like it's coming together, and when I feel that it normally means the damn thing's about to implode on me. Especially since I'm at the stage where I have no idea if the story works or not. I'm too close in on it.

It's weird, but the only one of my books I don't see mistakes or lost chances that I want to rewrite, now that they're published and done, is How to Rape a Straight Guy. My very first book. It's also my simplest book. Lean and vicious. I thought I'd return to that with Carli's Kills...but I guess I'm no longer capable of it.

No matter how clear and direct I want my stories to be, now, they start expanding and pulling in details I didn't expect, then take hold of my collar and won't let go till they're done. And there gets to be so much to them, I'm far more prone to mistakes.

Like with The Beast in the Nothing Room...I sloughed off on the relationship between Finn and Christian, who are fraternal twins, in order to get done with the book. And it was hurt by it. The same for the ending of Underground Guy; it felt rushed. I made myself take some time with Hunter, while Bobby Carapisi could have benefitted from more depth in my writing.

What's irritating is despite all the copies I've sold, I got very few reviews to help me see where there might be issues I  need to address. Don't know how to change that. Even giving out free copies in exchange for reviews hasn't worked. I don't know if that means the books are so crappy they don't want to review them, or if people are embarrassed by the subject matter.

I wish I could tell, because...despite all my bravado and certainty...I'm still an insecure writer.