At a loss...

I cooked, today. Could not face my laptop except to scan the internet, see the bullshit out there and decide to hide from it, for a while. Baked a bell pepper stuffed with ground beef marinated in teriyaki sauce, a potato, and carrots, for dinner. Also made potato soup, but with bacon instead of my usual ham, and puréed it in my Rocket Blender. All was fine but nothing spectacular.

I'm having trouble with the whole existentialistic argument Brendan is having with himself, in NWFO. I can't get it to make sense in my head. It's too arbitrary, to me. And yet...it's not. I'm going to have to let it sit till I can figure out what's going on with it.

Especially since the next chapter is Scott taking Brendan to a gay bar for fun, meeting Everett and nearly getting into a shitload of trouble. There's a hint that's exactly what Scott is trying to do. He's angry that Brendan was given the pool house to live in instead of him.

So maybe it's too early for Brendan to be having this conversation with himself. Or would that be what gets him to agree to go, even though he's underage for drinking and would cause a huge mess if he got caught? I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know!

And I hate it that I don't know.