My usual expansion...

I'm working on chapter four, blandly titled Awareness, where Brendan finally learns he is no longer Brendan. It's kind of a mess, but that works well at the moment because his mind is in chaos. And Aunt Mari's explanation is somewhat incomplete. She wasn't intending to tell him till after he got a clean bill of health from the cardiologist he's been seeing. But out it comes and he forgets to breathe so collapses.

When he comes to, he's feeling not only confusion and embarrassment, but anger at finally understanding that two of his best friends, both of whom knew he was involved with Joanna, deliberately parked a bomb-laden car in front of her father's shop. Which leads him to begin to feel guilt, thanks to him wondering if his relationship with her was the reason they focused attention on her father.

He knows, intellectually, that it was really because her father was in the UVF and rumored to be helping kill Catholics. But in his heart, he thinks if he hadn't been friends with her she'd have been spared. But what's worse? Once he realizes he's been cut off from not only Ireland but also his immediate family, he feels relieved. Happy. He'd been trying to escape Derry when the bomb went off, intending to leave it all behind. Now he's completely free.

And conflicted. He holds his two best friends responsible for Joanna's death, and he is confused as to why his mother kept him from being killed by pissed off members of PIRA, since he was sure she hated him and would have welcomed his death. On top of this, he's only been back to himself for a couple weeks so is still fragile, mentally and emotionally. And physically, really.

The rest of this story is going to be interesting to write.