Starting at the beginning

I jumped back to the beginning of APoS-NWFO to redo what I'd already redone 47 times because I finally connected with what's happening at the beginning of this part of the story. Brendan is like that tom cat that escaped the dogs and is now hiding and licking its wounds, giving them a chance to heal. I had it a little bit like that but realized I was being too quick and specific with some of it, ramming too much information in, so shifted it to follow his mindset as he comes out of his catatonia.

He now feels (and tries to understand) everything as it happens. The bomb going off was like yesterday, to him, and he only has fleeting, jarring memories of anything after that. So I'm working at conveying his confusion and uncertainty as he goes along.

Like the first time he sees himself in a mirror and doesn't know who it is:

Staring back was a hollow-eyed stranger on the cusp of starvation, from the way his bones showed, with scruff as a beard. Well, scruff in the places it would grow. His hair had been all but shaved. His skin was pale and scars were on his chest and neck and left shoulder as well as noticeable in his scalp, all well-healed. He reminded me of photos I'd seen of concentration camps in Germany. Liberated men standing around, gaunt and numb and...

And...

And it was me in that mirror?

No, that wasn't right. It couldn't be right. I couldn't look like this in only a few days. It must be I'm still caught in that nightmare.

This fits what I want...what Brendan wants...a lot better. I also removed some of Aunt Mari's comments that caused him even more confusion and focused on her noting he's there because he's seeing a heart specialist. Seems they finally caught on he's got issues with his ticker.

I'm going to use that as the reason no electro-treatments were used on his catatonia, that his doctor felt it better to leave him alone and see how he does. And that it's safer for his heart condition. I've even thrown in that he unconsciously repairs a fan that was in his room, making them think he is coming out of it.

I don't know if that is medically sound, but it works dramatically. And it is 1973, when some treatments for this issue have yet to be worked up. Consider it dramatic license.